Time for a Change

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So lately in my community of people we’ve all had this theme in our lives where we feel lost, but we know where we are going. We arent exactly sure how to get there or if we should keep straight or turn left or right, but we know whatever we choose we’ll be ok. We’ll get to where we need to be.

I’ve been staying that course almost all year.  I’ve been purging. I feel almost like I’m shedding skin. I don’t know if it’s because ya girl is knocking on 30s door or what, but I’ve been in the spirit of “this shit has gotta go” and so it’s been going. However, lately I had been feeling cramped and cluttered even though I had purged everything I thought I possibly could. I just wasn’t happy. Now, as a Libra it’s in our nature to be indecisive, but I literally couldn’t make a damn decision. I was supposed to be finalizing birthday plans that I just couldn’t decide on. I’ve been going back and forth on things that should’ve be a piece of cake to decide on.  I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I was on my way to do something I had absolutely no business doing. As I was driving I just thought “why do I keep allowing this? Why am I acting like a passenger when I’m clearly in the driver’s seat???” -Now I will say what I was on my way to do influence this sudden revelation.- It was my “ah ha” moment. It was the push of anger I needed.

meditate-01-giphy_0I swiftly turned around and went home. While sitting in my driveway –where I do some of my best thinking– I decided to delete social media. Usually when I take a break, I just put the apps in a folder and put them on a page by themselves, but during my break I may cheat and look. This time I straight deleted the apps. No cheating. I honestly was tired of reading y’all opinions and thoughts. It’s some of the best peace I’ve had in a while. I honestly thought I would miss it, but nope. Not at all.

Around the 5/6 day of my break I decided to clean my dream/goal journal out and rewrite my notes so they were more organized and I discovered I’ve been writing the same goals/dreams for years. Every year, same.fucking. goal. I went ahead with what I was doing, but this bothered me. That night while surfing YouTube I ran across what I like to call “adulting” videos; Financial and minimalist videos. Your typical ‘things I don’t buy’ or ‘10 ways you’re wasting your money’. All of these videos resonated with me because again I’ve been purging and feeling cluttered. The more I looked around the more I just saw…. stuff. Just a lot of stuff that I really don’t need/don’t use. I hold on to stuff people get me just cause I don’t want to feel bad for letting it go –when in fact they probably don’t remember gifting me it anyway– so the more I watched the more I became invested.

The next day I woke up in what my mom called a “Katie rage”. My grandmother, Katie, will get in these moods where everything has to change and change right then because she’s tired of saying it and she fusses and complains until it’s done. Whether it’s cleaning the house or redecorating it’s getting done TADAY! -yes that’s right, ta-day– Now I must add that I was sick with an upper respiratory infection so I had been off work during this social media break and I had a lot of time to sit with my thoughts. So that day I woke up with a clarity I haven’t had…. possibly ever? My mom and I purged, cleaned, and redecorated which I’m soooooooo happy with. I work from home so I have wanted my space to be nice, ascetically pleasing. I’ve been focusing on just my bedroom for a while, but it was a lot of stuff in my house that had been in my house since I moved out of my mother’s house which was… 7/8 years ago? I was just tired of looking at it. I literally threw what seemed like half the apartment away. Sa la vie! -la vie!-

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I will say my thoughts have been clear and focused, but I can’t seem to shut them off. I feel like I’m on a drug at times, but the results have been good so I’m kind of ok with it –lol-I won’t say I’m a minimalist. I dig the concept. I take some of their lifestyle and apply it to my own because we as Americans do over consume. Families in need probably wouldn’t be if some of us just learned that less is more. We don’t need a lot to survive. While I LOVE my closet –and awesome fashion sense wink wink lol- I don’t need all the clothes in my closet and could probably dress a whole 2/3 people and still be able to dress myself with my entire wardrobe. We really do live in excess. However I can’t let my closet go- even if I can’t wear half of it lol-, but I can control what I buy. Going for the structured quality items vs the fast fashion or getting Pyrex containers that are multipurpose vs. buying Tupperware. -environmentally better too

Maybe it was time for a lifestyle change, No no it was definitely time for a more adult lifestyle change. As I go into my 30s its time to let a lot of my old habits go. Those same habits can no longer serve me where I’m trying to go.

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What are some things you could let go?

Lets talk about it!

XOXO

And remember

Don’t be bitter

Be better!

 

 

Breaking the Cycle

Have you ever felt like your life was stuck in a pattern or a cycle that you just can’t seem to figure out or get out of? Like maybe there’s a lesson you’re not learning so you can’t move on. I’ve been thinking about where I am in my life and though I feel like I’ve made strides I still feel like I’m standing still. I can see the vision of where I want my life to go, but somewhere between the vision and where I am, something is not connecting. For me personally, I always end up getting sick, burnt out, or something sets me back that takes a while to recover from –like the car breaking down THE absolute WORST!-

In the past, I’ve tried to break this cycle by overworking, first with my jobs. I thought if I worked overtime and got a second job that I would get myself to a level of financial stability that I could handle the setbacks next time, but this only lead to burn out and health issues from stress and exhaustion.

Then I thought if I focus on my passions, writing and acting, that everything would flow naturally because you’re told so often that when you do what you love or what you’re called to do things will just happen or fall into place-who came up with this lie??– Ok I won’t say lie, but they definitely don’t happen in your time –if you know what I mean– and they don’t happen without hard work and good lessons.

I read self-help books, I meditated to find my inner voice; my center, I prayed that my steps be ordered and began to wonder is this what I am supposed to be doing??? I seriously thought well maybe I am just supposed to work this 9-5 and die. I always talk about wanting to quit and find some way to push through and keep going because that’s life. Things will happen that will make you question if you are supposed to be on the path you’re on and it got to me this time. I actually gave up and I felt terrible!!! I didn’t feel like myself anymore I felt empty. I cried all the time. So, if this wasn’t something I should be doing then why do I feel so empty??

It came down to a couple of things for me-In no specific order

Discipline

Comfortability

Priorities

Planning

The funny part is you hear this all the time. The self-help books, testimonies, in interview from people we consider to be successful. We hear it all the time, yet we are so determined to find the secret they are hiding or a way around that that the message goes completely over our head. In her documentary Beyoncé stated that she prepared for 8 months for 2 shows at Coachella. –I can’t even plan my week out– I needed to make some serious changes if I wanted to see any positive results.

Imagine the disservice it would be to the world if you gave up on you dreams or passions.

Discipline

I am the least disciplined person I know, I may even be the laziest person I know.-at least that’s the harmful talk I have with myself – I lacked discipline bad. I couldn’t even stick to a routine for a week. If I had a plan and it was something I didn’t really want to do I would swap it out for something that served no purpose to my life, like watching a movie I’ve seen a thousand times. I had to change my habits. I started with something simple, like making up my bed every morning.-because yes, I was that person who stopped making the bed the moment I moved out of my mothers’ unless I was leaving my house for a few days-Since transitioning into a work from home employee I barely made it to work on time. –of course I slept till the last minute possible are you kidding me??– I changed that by setting a morning routine every work day. That meant setting a set time to wake up every work day. –I did begin to question how I made it to work on time with an hour drive; it was hard enough waking up at a decent time to go to the next room lol- These small changes helped add more structure to my life and helped me allow for scheduling and planning.

Comfortability

I have recently been reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes on Audible. In the beginning, she talks about how she was perfectly comfortable with how her life had been going up until that point that brought her to the year of yes. I really thought about my life and how it compared and while I always thought I wasn’t comfortable with how my life was going, it turns out I was. I was perfectly comfortable with getting off work and hopping in the bed and chilling for 3 hours, mindlessly scrolling through social media and playing games until I fell asleep, and waking up the next morning and doing it all over again. I was in a routine of doing things that were, simply put, pure laziness. It wasn’t adding any value to my life. I was wasting precious hours that I could be putting into my work. Nothing was going to get accomplished from me lying around. While mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, I came across a person I went to high school with, while I’m sure they love their life, it wasn’t the life I pictured for myself, and the sad part is we weren’t that far apart in what we were doing in life work, home, and party when you can. I had to go back to an old strategy I preach all the time, 3 goals plan. I implemented 3 realistic goals and broke them down.

Priorities

If I couldn’t prioritize to do some work over lying in the bed, how the hell did I ever expect to make it in anything I was trying to pursue?? Not only that, but my financial priorities completely screwed. I have an impulsive shopping addiction. Retail therapy islandscape-1447712172-online4 my jam!! Clothes were the #1 priority. How did I expect to get where I needed to go if I’m constantly buying clothes. –you know what they say though turn a habit into a hobby coming soon wink wink– I had to get serious about what mattered to me. My job was unnecessarily stressful and after working 8+ hours all I wanted to do was lie in bed and relax. What I found is that I would do things that added no value to my life, like switching through Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat for several hours or playing games on my phone vs reading a script or writing. So I prioritized. If I could focus on writing or read for 1 hour every night after work then my reward would be doing the things that added no value, because that was my guilty pleasure. I found that if I focused for the hour, I often went over and ended up going straight to bed after I was done.

Planning

One of the things I noticed early on was my lack of planning. As mentioned earlier in this post, I couldn’t even plan my week I usually just winged it. So I got myself a planner and I used my Iphone calendar to help me stay on schedule and remain flexible. I have always followed my 3 goal plan, but it was never structured for me to actually follow it. I never broke it down in steps for me to use. I could plan to write 3 times a week, but if the inspiration wasn’t there I just couldn’t get it done. Rather than forcing myself to be locked into something I felt I had to do, I needed to replace it with something that could spark inspiration. So rather than block off 2 hours for writing , I blocked it off for reading and if inspiration hit then I would write within those 2 hours and if it didn’t I would read for an hour or so depending on the book and the other time was free time or planning for the next day. It worked out perfectly, especially knowing I get to indulge in my guilty pleasures after.

So in a nutshell, I couldn’t quit, imagine the disservice it would be to the world if I gave up on my dreams or passions. No, no I have to keep going, if not for you all, for me. I let a lot of things stop me and a lot of obstacles hinder me rather than navigate around them. I also let excuses become justifiable reasons. There are roadblocks on every road of life, you can either let them stop you or navigate around them. As the saying goes, if you really want to pursue something, you’ll find a way; If not you’ll find an excuse. Maybe that’s the lesson I needed to learn. –Another saying a hard head will make a soft ass, aren’t you tired of falling on your ass because of your own way?-

What is stopping you? Let’s talk about it!

Don’t be bitter

Be BETTER!

 

XOXO

Let’s Recap, Toast to the Halfway Mark!

I had a lot of fun with the Month of Music. Thank you again to all the artist that allowed me to interview them, I enjoyed every minute! I hope some networking came from it, you got new fans, and maybe some new opportunities.

Now that the Month of Music is over, lets get back to our regularly schedule program. With it being June-OMG the year is halfway over AHHHHH!- I’ve been looking over my goals and I can’t believe I have everything pretty much checked off! How are you guys doing with that? -If you are lost, check this out.

Can you believe that was my very first goal of the year? Lets talk about something you guys may not know. I make a lot of things sound very easy on here, but life is not as breezy as it appears.

I have had a rough start to my year. One of the worst things -or so i thought- that happened was I got laid off from my full time job. For 30 seconds after I got laid off I panicked. All these thoughts about bills, money, and what to do next flooded my head. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do.

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Meet your VIP and Event Staff for concert scenes on “Nashville”

After about 30 seconds of freaking out and praying, calmness came over me and I knew everything was going to be a
lright. It’s was going to be rocky, but it was going to be okay.

I took the time off to dive into things that were always just a dream to me. I got a wonderful opportunity to be on a popular TV show, I started my YouTube channel, and I really started to take my blogging seriously. Now all of this sounds so exciting; and it was. However, there were times when I was uncertain, scared, and completely shut down from being overwhelmed.

These first 6 months of the year were full of up and downs. A lot of downs and a lot of dwelling in the moment. Gosh, I am the queen of dwelling. I don’t know how to move on from something that truly hurt me. I’m so used to doing it, that I don’t even realize I do it.

Something Keke Palmer said-if you don’t follow her on snapchat, you are doing yourself a huge disservice- really spoke to me, she said we as human beings can reply a moment over and over again in our head, and we allow the energy of that moment, when somebody or something hurt us, to spill into other good moments, and ruin what could have been a great moment. So allow yourself to feel that bad moment for seconds, or hours, but know that only you have the power to let it go.

DeathDwellingPastStayingI never allowed myself to feel those bad moments.I never realized that I, Me and only ME, had the power to move on from that moment. I would take those moments and add them to this brick wall I was building. And every time I had a good moment I would pick out that brick that hurt me and no matter how good that moment was, I would ruin it. Self sabotaging. I would turn what could have been a beautiful moment, or what I could have turned into a positive on only focus on the negative the moment presented. Waiting for a  series of good moments to change my moo
d.

“Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”

I had a couple bad moments within the first half of the year. Every time I thought I hit rock bottom, I hit a lower floor. But after I heard those words, I allowed myself to feel that moment for however long I needed and instead of using that brick to build a wall, I used it to build my foundation. J.K Rowling said, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”.  Rather than be hurt by those moments, I’m grateful. I learned. I grew. I’m stronger.

6358791146522069822127800330_learn from the pastSo Often we are told that its our perception of a situation that defines it. If you look at it as a negative, it will be negative. If you think of it as positive it will be a positive moment. And if you look at it as a blessing, it will be a blessing. i had a lot of unexpected “negatives”, but each “negative” prepared me for the next. Had I not gone through the one before, I wouldn’t have known how to handle the next. -Blessings-
As we move into the last half of the year, lets practice changing our mind set. -Positive Vibes Only, even the so called negative ones-

I’ve been keeping to my 3 major goals- I’ve have knocked 2 off, 1 being taking my blogging seriously, 2. is well…. announcement coming soon :)- but one of my minor goals-not even sure if you could call it that so lets go with practice- is to be present in the moment. Too often I am so focused on my phone shuffling between apps that I have wasted HOURS.

So, I will be removing myself from the social media world until July and I invite anyone reading this blog to join me! Blogs are already scheduled and will still go up every Monday- so if you’re not subscribed, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???- I will return in July with what I was able to change, accomplish and learn. I may pop up in-between with my special announcement, who knows…. keep your eyes out on IG- @lilsisveebspot.

 

Until Next Time Guys!

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XOXO

 

Nina B

I wanted to end the month of music with someone I’ve known since I was just in elementary school. Ever since I can remember she’s been doing music. She’s never let “no” stop her and she straight grinds to make her dreams come true. A true definition of “never give up”! This last artist, comes straight out of Murfreesboro, Tn. Nina B has been making impacts in the music industry and is definitely one to watch out for. 

First, I know you by a different name, but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you since I was just my brother’s annoying little sister -ha!- how did the name Nina B come to be?

Ha! Yes I remember those days, but you weren’t too annoying (just kidding!). But you know that’s a great question. When I first started rapping I used to freestyle and I had a fierce attitude when I spit. One of the older guys that hung around used to call me Nina bc he said I popped off at any given moment and won’t jam under pressure. (Just to clarify, a “Nina” is slang for a 9mm handgun) Honestly, it stuck with me thru my little “rap battles” so I decided to keep the name. The “B” can turn into plenty of meanings but we’ll keep it at Nina lol. 

 

Ok , that makes sense now! I never knew that. So, you’ve been in the music game for a long time, you’ve done a little bit of everything, but you always come back to being an artist. You have this enormous passion for music. What’s the one thing you love about music?

Wow, I can’t even put that into words! Music is a huge part of my life. I take to music to release any type of emotion towards any situation. I really think that music to me is very therapeutic and that’s the most important aspect of music in my opinion. That and the overall message of a song is key. 

 

Yes! Music has definitely lost its message to me now its all about being hot for now. Especially,with being a female artist. Speaking of being a female artist, what would you like to see change in that field of the music industry? 

Sis, I don’t think we have enough time in this interview to get my full take on this issue, but I’ll do my best to paraphrase. Honestly, I think that the issue with all females breaking into the industry is the overwhelming need to objectify the woman and the inability for men to value the likes of a woman. Along with a lack of serious artists; not these women who just want to be put out to get on. Period. What I mean is that this need to push the whole “sex sells” agenda is enabling us from our talents. Damn near every female rapper that comes out of the woodworks is nothing more than carbon copy. Either she’s trying to be Nicki [Minaj] or she’s just rapping about what’s in between her thighs rather than between her temples. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Bad Bi** anthem, but let’s be real with ourselves for once in a while. Put it this way, name one female rapper (besides Lauryn Hill) who at some point in her career didn’t have to be sexy in some type of way in order to keep themselves relevant? 

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That’s a tough one unless I can name Queen Latifa or Erikah Badu –that’s a stretch huh?-Being a female artist is already an up hill battle, its such a hard industry to break into, from your experience why do you think that is?

Well, as far as my experience, I think that it really depends on the way that you try and break into the industry. You really have to find a lane and stick to it. This is a male dominated industry so when you’re trying to break into a rap industry that feeds off objectifying women, You can’t be too hard and intimidate the guys, but you also don’t want to put yourself in a box and only rap about what every other female rapper is [rapping about]. So to put it simply, it will be easier for us to break into the industry when we are comfortable enough to accept that we don’t have to fit in with the norm. 

 

 

Ooh I like that. A lot of people don’t go in with a plan or mission, like Minaj or Latifa did. What can we look forward to seeing from you in the future?

I actually have a lot planned for the upcoming months and next year. Of course, a lot more music to come with some unexpected featured artists, and also I’m working on some visuals to put a face with the name. I’ve actually ventured out more into the entertainment field and I am working to get my label, Mizfit Muzik, up and running full force. What I’m super excited about is my clothing line, Trillions Supply Co, will be launching this summer/fall season, so definitely put a bolo (be on the look out) on that! 

 

Oh wow ok, you want your hands in everything possible, I love it! Speaking of labels and putting a face to a name, when can we expect new music, and where can we get your music?

You can expect some new music dropping from me this summer. I’m currently working on a project entitled F.A.M.E that is set to drop this summer as well. I have a single called “Supa Chronic” which is available now via Souncloud along with a group project I did with my team T$MG called “Track Meet” which is on Souncloud too. I already have my sights set on dropping my debut EP which I’ll give you more on as it develops. Until then check out some of my music at Soundcloud.com/ninabmuzik and Reverbnation.com/ninabmuzik

I ask the same question to everyone in my interviews, I’m such a big supporter of following your dreams no matter what, I think following your passion and purpose is one of the hardest, but most rewarding things you can do, what advice would you give to people who are struggling to find follow their dreams?


I would definitely tell other artists to stay true to themselves no matter what. As long as you make the music YOU want to make and hone your craft you will go far. Don’t get caught up in what you think people want to hear and just make music. These days everyone wants to make music so you have to find a way to reinvent your craft in order to stand out. Also, make sure you understand and know the music business. With that being said, I encourage all artists who are serious about their craft just stay focused on turning your dream into a reality. Success is a mindset and I’m the first one to know that life sometimes does set in at the wrong moment and makes it hard to create, but as long as you stay productive and keep your faith everything else will fall into place.

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And fall in to place it will! Huge thank you to NinaB for allowing me the pleasure to interview her! As you read she has big things coming soon so make sure to check her out!

 

Until Next Time Guys!

XOXO

Distractions

blogger-image-2067635397So many times we have a goal in mind. We can envision it. We can put ourselves at the finish line. It’s so close that all of our senses tingle as if it’s already happened. Most of us can reach out and touch it. The latter, like me, get distracted. Distraction or rather procrastination plays a huge roll in why we can’t accomplish even the smallest task. I’m so guilty of this! I battle myself on timing all the time! I question if I should do something now or wait? Should I do this first and finish that then do it. I question it so much, it never gets done. Now I don’t know if this is fear that it won’t work anyway so why bother or if it’s much deeper than that- still working on it- or if it simply just time.

My mother always tells me, don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. But she has always been so eye on the prize let’s get this done. I’ve always been lazy. If it could get done tomorrow, if it didn’t need to get done immediately, then I would push it off till the last possible minute! But I do have to admit I work well under pressure. I would wait until the night before and sometimes the day of, to do a paper and I would get an A on it. I get my best ideas from procrastinating.

hey-i-found-your-noseI totally went on a tangent, but I said all that to get to the biggest distraction of them all, social media. Oh yes. Instagram, snapchat, Facebook… We are so enthused about what other people are doing we forget to put the phone down and enjoy our own lives. I fall victim to this constantly- mainly because social media will let you know news before the news will, I mean I found out THE Michael Jackson died before it came across any news station, all from a tweet! Now I do enjoy looking other people’s messes to take my mind off my own- I mean who don’t, don’t act like y’all guilty pleasure wasn’t love and hip hop at some point!- but at some point I have to put my phone down and actually deal with what’s going on- easier said than done-

giphyI love social media for the positives that came from it. Like discovering actually talent, promotion, awareness, connection with people you would have never met otherwise. But I also despise it for what it’s done to society, a disconnect at real conversation, a need to update people about your life minute by minute just to stay “relevant”, unsolicited opinions- the worst!Maybe we will move into a new age where people will start to feel nostalgic and integrate those things back in. With technology moving so fast one can wonder. I can only vow to myself to take a step back. And hopefully this blog may encourage a few too. Now I’m not going cold turkey. But it is ok if you miss a few things it’s not ok to miss out on your life, trying to see what everyone else is doing with theirs.

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P.s- check out my latest video here-The Blacker The Berry...

P.s.s- the video for this blog will be out on Friday, but its going to tie in with a high requested deeper look at my previous video make sure you check that out!Its Not You Its Me: Tips and Tricks for 2016

P.s.s.s -video for this blog is liveeeee Distractions

The Downside to Social Media

Now, as a blogger I realize these are just my views or take a different scenarios and situations. I mostly speak from my experiences on what I talk about. However, with certain social media outlets, I’ve noticed a trend that has become rampant : my way or the highway.
tumblr_n2wfrysPoE1rfduvxo1_500People will call you everything, but a child of God, for simply disagreeing with their view point. I was watching a clip of in interview with David Bowie and Mark Goodman where Bowie was questioning why there was no black music being played on MTV. Something Goodman said really resonated with me. “It’s not like it was in 67, when you could go ‘I’m not into that,but you are? Ok yea,but now it’s you’re into that? Well I don’t like you”. And that’s exactly how the world is today. There’s no agree to disagree. If you openly agree with something big or small you are crucified for it.

68536_oWhere did this logic come from? Are they no longer teaching argumentative in English class??? Do we not have debate teams anymore?? Why are we getting so sensitive about it? Disagreements can be healthy. It can give you a different view point. It fuels the imagination. It may often spark a solution. If everybody thought the same, as a civilization we would be nowhere. Maybe, if we stopped and slowed down and listened to understand rather than listened to reply we’d be a little less ignorant and a lot further along -ye shrug-
giving-away-too-much-knowledgeEspecially on social media. Did such an open platform to express one’s self become a weapon for the tongue (or keyboard)? Its really quite sad at how much people believe simply based on it being on the internet. And God forbid you try to correct someone who desperately wants to believe the false advertisement is true. don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing the internet, its very helpful if you take the time to decipher whats real and whats fake. However, you have to wonder with the information being so readily available did it makes us lazier as a society?

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