Coping with Quarantine

This has been an interesting time for America.COVID-19 has come in and interrupted our lives. We have been halted and moved around. Most of us made plans for 2020 that we now have to change or forgo completely. We are learning to be flexible and how to go with the flow.

COVID-19 while everyone was making 2020 plans

 

This time has felt stripping. We are forced to put into perspective what matters. We have been stripped down to necessity and thrown into survival mode. I don’t know about you, but I feel like my people, black people, have been training for this our whole lives!

I am a natural homebody, so when the stay at home orders went out; it was a cakewalk for me. I continued doing what I always do.

I am fortunate that my plans/life didn’t halt, if anything they kicked into overdrive. Both of my jobs offered more hours and I am very blessed and grateful for that. I haven’t really had the time to relax, and that’s ok. That is my mood for this time period I feel grateful. –I am also grateful forthese sales, but well get to that later lol– 

I am a believer that where you are, is exactly where you are supposed to be. When I am in a tough spot I always ask, what am I supposed to be learning form this? In our toughest moments that’s when we learn the most. Instead of griping and complaining aboutwhat you’re not able to do, focus on what you are able to do. When I got laid off from my job in 2016, I panicked for a moment, but once that moment passed and faith kicked in, I realized I now had the opportunity to create. I had never had the time before and now I did. And here we are. I would not be blogging if it weren’t for that layoff. –I also started a YouTube channel; more to come on that later wink wink

It kind of drove me crazy listening to people complain about having to spend time with their family and the frustrations from losing their employment- trust me I completely understand– but some times perspective is key. Focus on the positives and continue to thrive on those.  Here are some of the things im grateful for:

  • You guys know I am a shopaholic so im thankful for these sales! I have had my eye on some big ticket purchases and these sales have allowed me to buy them for next to nothing! Allowing me to get what I want without killing my bank account
  • Speaking of bank account, before quarantine I would treat myself to eating out, and I still do thanks to uber eats, but the price has been much cheaper thanks to zero delivery fee and the alcoholic beverage that im not able to enjoy. I actually haven’t been drinking during this time.
  • I have been natural most of my life so I have been doing my own hair for years. As for my eyebrows, I had a bomb threading lady that moved about 10 years ago and I had her teach me how to do my own as well. 4 years ago I made the decision to get acrylics and now when the nail shops closed I have been back to my natural nails and I realized how much I actually like them. 
  • Is it me or have people been extremely kind during this time? I know there are some cases where its not, but for the most part when I do have to get out for essentials people and employees have been sweet and kind.

I have been seeing a lot of post saying that you should use this time to be productive come out of quarantine with that business plan you’ve been thinking about, start that blog, make that YouTube channel, and if you have the will, time, and drive by all means do it! However, if you use this time to be still and rest that is ok too. A lot of people have been using this time to clean, purge, and organize and that is also ok. There’s no right or wrong way to do this and only you know what’s best for you. I know some of us have it tougher than others, but lets try to be grateful for the moment and focus on the positive that this quarantine has created.

working my second job

Also, let’s keep in our thoughts and prayers the people who are suffering from this illness, the people who are fighting for their lives, and the people on the front lines working tirelessly to combat this virus.Im not on the front lines but work in the environment and guys its serious. Let’s do all we can to overcome this. Do your part. Use discernment.

How have you been doing during this time? What are some things you are focusing on during this time? Lets talk about it!

Until next time!

Don’t be bitter

Be better!

Self Care: Why You Need It and How to Obtain It

I don’t know about anybody else, but the holidays have been draining for me- even though I was a self proclaimed Grinch seriously it was the first year I did not put up a tree and Christmas music was driving me insane! Lol- After gift shopping, holiday parties and celebrating the New Year I’m exhausted!

This year, like most, I have set some goals for myself; 3 specific goals. If you refer back to my very first video, I talk about keeping the goals to a minimum of 3 and elaborating on them. Too many goals split your focus or can become overwhelming-and I am already overworked! – try to do things to work toward your goals daily, weekly, and monthly. For instance, if your goal is to write a book; write a little each day, set a goal of a chapter a week by the end of the month you should have 4 chapters and that much closer to completing your book.

As I’ve gotten older, I have become a bit more private about the goals I set; they are very personal to me-and hello boundaries! – But I do want to share one I think everyone should be doing in some shape or form: Self Care.

Towards the end of the year things got super crazy for me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. One thing that falls to the side when things get crazy is taking care of you. This is definitely a moment to be selfish. My grandmother always tells me you can’t take care of other people if you can’t take care of yourself. It starts with you. You can’t pour into other things if you’re empty. Self care is more about working on the inside rather than outside- but don’t get it twisted keep it cute on the outside too boo-

Creating a stress free environment and setting boundaries are definitely important steps for self care. I believe your job plays a major role in stress. I personally decided to make a role change at one of my jobs. I was an admin to a director which was great for my resume, but super stressful, not at all flexible and I was slowly becoming unhappy. I took a promotion to processing behavioral medical claims. Even though it’s considered a promotion I will be doing much less than what I was doing in my other role-which I am super excited for frees up time for me to do things I want to do- also, I was being constantly consumed by work thoughts that it was clouding my mind!

Your peace of mind is yours and yours alone! It’s especially important if you suffer from mental illnesses or disorders. After my last flair up with PMDD I decided that my peace of mind was most important. I practice meditation which I get into later, but I haven’t been incorporating those tools into areas of my life outside of the physical act of meditating. I think practicing mindful meditation would help with dealing with stress throughout the day. You should be protecting your peace of mind at all cost. –Boundaries people boundaries!- 

So going forward in 2018 here are some things I am incorporating to help me protect my peace of mind and continue to work on my self care.

  1. Meditation and Reading

I talk about meditation a lot in my blog, but it’s so good for you! After a meditation session I feel refreshed. I feel mentally relieved. –Like when you got to take a nap in kindergarten – it’s totally brings the focus back to the forefront. I do my meditation sessions at night right after doing yoga and sometimes during my breaks at work. However, it’s not something I practice constantly.

After the last PMDD episode I had, I found that I was having constant anxiety and mini anxiety attacks – and for myself I want to learn how to deal with it naturally vs. taking medication, that’s just for me– I researched ways to deal with the anxiety thoughts throughout the day and one of the things I found for practicing mindful meditation. Meditation is the act of clearing your thoughts; mindful meditation is the act of training your thoughts. So whatever I’m thinking about that is causing my anxiety, I’m training myself to be aware that I’m having those thoughts and redirect my thoughts to more positive thinking.

I read books… and I’ll read you if you try it!

Reading is another way I train my mind. I lovvvvvvveeeeee to read- I’m especially attracted to books about magic and wizardry– but I will read almost anything. Reading provides me an escape that nothing else does. –That feeling when you get caught up in a good book, it’s nothing like it! – I’m particular about how I read as well. I prefer physical books over reading on my phone or a kindle –and it’s something about the smell of a book– since I love to read so much I decided to create a space in my house that I could read.

So for 2018, I’m in the process of converting a corner in my bedroom into a reading nook. I’m getting a big comfy chair, pillows, and a comfy blanket, light, the whole 9. I will be sure to keep you guys updated.

  1. Yoga and Exercise

Yoga and meditation go hand in hand. Practicing meditation is a part of yoga, which is why every session ends in a 10 minute meditation-but don’t you leave feeling relaxed and refreshed?!-

Exercising is just great for you period. –Do I really need to tell you all the benefits from exercising? – I will say I like to end a great workout in the sauna for 15-20 mins. If you have asthma like myself this helps your lungs after an intense workout. The sauna is great for colds/sinus as well. I also like to put a deep conditioner in my hair and sit in the sauna-yes with my bag on my head daring anyone to say anything! – But it’s so good for your hair and really helps the product work.

  1. Nature

Hitting the gym is great but I prefer to run outside. Something about physically being able to see how far I’ve actually ran and see nature rather than the person’s butt in front of me or smelling that sweaty gym smell- you know what I’m talking about! – A walk in the park, a hike, walk a trail, ponder life at a stream, or bicycling around the city, fresh air is definitely another good way to clear your mind, focus on your thoughts, and gain some clarity.

  1. Spa Day

Specifically a at home spa day- because we ballas on a budget over here! – I believe pampering yourself is essential. Manicures, pedicures, body butters, massage oils, massages, eyebrow threading, waxes, I need all of that. ALL. OF. THAT.

I do have a nail tech that I go to for my nails– shout out to Venus K. at Nail Lounge in the Boro! She keeps my nail in check- I also hit up the European Wax Center in Brentwood for any waxing I get done. Other than that I mainly do everything else myself. Yes that’s right, I have learned how to do my eyebrows and my own pedicures, every now and again if I’m feeling fancy I may go and get a pedicure done but I never let anyone touch my brows!!- I had 1 bad brow experience, learned my lesson, and taught myself!-

When I was younger I constantly made everyone in the house mad because I was a bathroom hog! I loved taking long hot bubble baths and listening to music- and you know singing along to all the songs- unfortunately we lived in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house sooooo naturally if I was in the bathroom for hours on end no one else could use the bathroom –muahahahaha- As I got older and busier, I settled for hot showers over baths and occasionally took bubble baths. This year I am bringing them back! the goal is for 1 to 2 nights out of the week dedicated to a night of relaxation. A glass bottle of wine –or cherry juice– candle lit bubble baths with neo-soul radio station. –I mean how could you not?!?!

  1. Therapy and Journaling

In case you haven’t notice blogging is kind of like a therapy for me. Of course it’s condensed but none the less. Therapy helps me work through my problems the best. It’s a nonbiased opinion. My therapist suggested journaling because I have a hard time with my thoughts as far as tracking them or remember certain things especially if my anxiety has kicked up.

Thinking about something isn’t enough for me I have to get it out, write it down, and say it out loud, let my thoughts flow until I can figure it out or work through it. The longer it stays in the more it festers, the more toxic it becomes… –let that shit out

Boundaries, self affirmations, living stress free, and protecting your peace of mind are so vital in the day and age. How someone treats you is what you allow and no one will treat you better than you treat yourself! Make sure you are at the top of your list because like I said you can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself. So be selfish with you, your energy, your time, your attention.

What are some things you do for self care? Let’s talk about it!

Oh wait before you go, I have updated my closet on Poshmark and dropped some prices, you can download the app here and shop my closet- @lilvee08 or you can click the link on my home page titled “shop my closet”

Until next time!

XOXO