Time for a Change

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So lately in my community of people we’ve all had this theme in our lives where we feel lost, but we know where we are going. We arent exactly sure how to get there or if we should keep straight or turn left or right, but we know whatever we choose we’ll be ok. We’ll get to where we need to be.

I’ve been staying that course almost all year.  I’ve been purging. I feel almost like I’m shedding skin. I don’t know if it’s because ya girl is knocking on 30s door or what, but I’ve been in the spirit of “this shit has gotta go” and so it’s been going. However, lately I had been feeling cramped and cluttered even though I had purged everything I thought I possibly could. I just wasn’t happy. Now, as a Libra it’s in our nature to be indecisive, but I literally couldn’t make a damn decision. I was supposed to be finalizing birthday plans that I just couldn’t decide on. I’ve been going back and forth on things that should’ve be a piece of cake to decide on.  I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I was on my way to do something I had absolutely no business doing. As I was driving I just thought “why do I keep allowing this? Why am I acting like a passenger when I’m clearly in the driver’s seat???” -Now I will say what I was on my way to do influence this sudden revelation.- It was my “ah ha” moment. It was the push of anger I needed.

meditate-01-giphy_0I swiftly turned around and went home. While sitting in my driveway –where I do some of my best thinking– I decided to delete social media. Usually when I take a break, I just put the apps in a folder and put them on a page by themselves, but during my break I may cheat and look. This time I straight deleted the apps. No cheating. I honestly was tired of reading y’all opinions and thoughts. It’s some of the best peace I’ve had in a while. I honestly thought I would miss it, but nope. Not at all.

Around the 5/6 day of my break I decided to clean my dream/goal journal out and rewrite my notes so they were more organized and I discovered I’ve been writing the same goals/dreams for years. Every year, same.fucking. goal. I went ahead with what I was doing, but this bothered me. That night while surfing YouTube I ran across what I like to call “adulting” videos; Financial and minimalist videos. Your typical ‘things I don’t buy’ or ‘10 ways you’re wasting your money’. All of these videos resonated with me because again I’ve been purging and feeling cluttered. The more I looked around the more I just saw…. stuff. Just a lot of stuff that I really don’t need/don’t use. I hold on to stuff people get me just cause I don’t want to feel bad for letting it go –when in fact they probably don’t remember gifting me it anyway– so the more I watched the more I became invested.

The next day I woke up in what my mom called a “Katie rage”. My grandmother, Katie, will get in these moods where everything has to change and change right then because she’s tired of saying it and she fusses and complains until it’s done. Whether it’s cleaning the house or redecorating it’s getting done TADAY! -yes that’s right, ta-day– Now I must add that I was sick with an upper respiratory infection so I had been off work during this social media break and I had a lot of time to sit with my thoughts. So that day I woke up with a clarity I haven’t had…. possibly ever? My mom and I purged, cleaned, and redecorated which I’m soooooooo happy with. I work from home so I have wanted my space to be nice, ascetically pleasing. I’ve been focusing on just my bedroom for a while, but it was a lot of stuff in my house that had been in my house since I moved out of my mother’s house which was… 7/8 years ago? I was just tired of looking at it. I literally threw what seemed like half the apartment away. Sa la vie! -la vie!-

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I will say my thoughts have been clear and focused, but I can’t seem to shut them off. I feel like I’m on a drug at times, but the results have been good so I’m kind of ok with it –lol-I won’t say I’m a minimalist. I dig the concept. I take some of their lifestyle and apply it to my own because we as Americans do over consume. Families in need probably wouldn’t be if some of us just learned that less is more. We don’t need a lot to survive. While I LOVE my closet –and awesome fashion sense wink wink lol- I don’t need all the clothes in my closet and could probably dress a whole 2/3 people and still be able to dress myself with my entire wardrobe. We really do live in excess. However I can’t let my closet go- even if I can’t wear half of it lol-, but I can control what I buy. Going for the structured quality items vs the fast fashion or getting Pyrex containers that are multipurpose vs. buying Tupperware. -environmentally better too

Maybe it was time for a lifestyle change, No no it was definitely time for a more adult lifestyle change. As I go into my 30s its time to let a lot of my old habits go. Those same habits can no longer serve me where I’m trying to go.

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What are some things you could let go?

Lets talk about it!

XOXO

And remember

Don’t be bitter

Be better!

 

 

Potential is a Killer

blogger-image--617838411I am so quick to meet someone and see all the things that they can become. -I’m sure I’m not alone here- I can see this tiny light burning inside of them just waiting to get some air and really burn. I can see this fire spreading and conquering all that stands in its way. Then I am forced to see that light get dimmer and dimmer. It usually happens tragically-for me anyway-. I always try to see the best in people. And when they fail to live up to my expectation or don’t even try to be more than what they are, it diminishes my light.

With each person you surround yourself with, you tend to see a little of yourself in them. When I look at my close friends, I can see a little of myself in them. I can see all that I can be in them. Let’s be honest, you’re only as strong as your team. That’s why it’s very important to surround yourself with the right people. Your friends say a lot about the person you are and want to be.

UnknownA couple years ago, I couldn’t understand why I was losing certain friendships. I think a small part of me was changing. I would me. Something must be wrong with me if I’m losing all these friends. And something was wrong with me. Where I was headed they couldn’t come. They were holding me back from reaching what was planned for me. When I looked at them I didn’t see me anymore. They were dimming my light. No shade, it just wasn’t me anymore.

Even in relationships, I think it’s very important to see yourself in your partner, and vice versa. You guys should see that potential and each other and push each other, in a healthy way, to go harder! You guys should motivate each other to reach that potential because pushing them
essentially pushes you.

The same goes for friendships. If your team isn’t pushing you to go as hard, if not harder , than they can go, why are ya’ll friends??- I see you questioning friendships right now. And you SHOULD- coming into this new year-we are in March now why you still holding on??- if your still holding on to dead friendships or relationships that aren’t filling you up and pushing you to reach higher, then baby it’s time to reevaluate. Steve Harvey said he looks at his success as if he is pulling a wagon. -its a really good video check that out here -And in this wagon are all the things he has to take care of. And if everybody in that wagon is not helping him pull that wagon up that hill in some way, then somebody in that wagon has got to go!

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So I ask you, is your wagon heavy or is it moving along swiftly??

P.s check out the last video here-Distraction