Dont be Bitter be Better: 3 Reasons Why I Chose to be Single

Reading the heading of this post, I know you’re wondering why would one choose to be single.-Let me explain.- I found myself in an odd place. I was in a situationship that ended on good terms, we even decided to still remain friends. Even after the romantic phase was over, we would meet up for drinks and still text as friends. One day, I found myself blocked and ignored. This was someone who I had a fifteen year friendship with so to be suddenly cut out of their life was odd. I would speak when I saw them and nothing, not even a hello back. The need to know why I was suddenly being treated this way was growing inside of me. The more it happened the angrier I became. –I know what your thinking why did you continue to speak?- A part of me was all kill them with kindness, but another part felt it was probably agitating them that I did– that was the petty part of me.

Privately, I was very hurt by losing the relationship and the friendship. – I was hurt hurt. Mariah Carey’s breakdown ft Bone-Thugs and Harmony has never made more sense than that moment in time

The guy a dated after that 5months into the dating phase –not relationship but casually dating– he got engaged to someone else. Yes, you read that right, engaged to another girl while we were dating, and to add insult to injury I found about it 2 weeks later from someone who didn’t even know I knew him, let alone was dating him.- the audacity, tuh!-

I felt myself becoming bitter. I didn’t want to shut love out, but at that moment I didn’t know how I could continue to be so open to something that was literally ripping my heart apart. I prayed to ease the pain and bring me understanding. In the past, I had taken a break from dating before and dated myself, but I was still open to invitations. Initially when I took the first break, I was a 20 something year old who was lost. My 20s were rough and flew by. I am now a 30 something who has experience. I’m more settled now, I feel wiser like I have a new lens on life. I don’t feel so desperate to get to a finish line of a goal, until I started comparing my life to where I thought I should be for my age. So this decision didn’t come lightly. This time I decided to decline any interests. No dates. I didn’t entertain someone who was interested in dating. If they weren’t pre-existing non-romantic friendships, I wasn’t available for it. I wanted to completely focus on me and pour into myself. My prayers were eventually answered, but in praying I realized a few things about myself and how I approached dating:

1. Relationships were the goal
My goal was to be in a relationship. That’s it. That’s all I wanted. I had no clue what I was going to do after I got into one, but as someone whos never been in one, that was my goal. Somewhere along the way I began to be desperate to be in one. To be claimed, chosen, picked from the bunch. The older I got the more important it became. Towards the end of my 20s dating began to feel more of a hassle than fun. Dating was supposed to be the time of your life, but for me it felt like a means to an end.

If you listen to society, being single will have you feeling worthless. You cant possibly be anyone of value if you’re not in a relationship or married, your advice is worthless, you don’t understand anything as it relates to relationships and you can’t hang around the couple crowd if you are single. I have lost so called friends for being the single one. To be deemed “worthy” by society, I needed to be in a relationship.

I started to look at every possible love interest as “the one”. After the initial contact, I daydreamed about our life together. -if I really found you attractive.- I had an unrealistic expectation for every man who entered my romantic life. I was never in the present moment. I never saw it for what it was until it was over, and I was heartbroken, more so by the possibilities than by missing out on the person. –cause lets be honest, if relationships weren’t my goal there is no way I would have been with some of the dudes I entertained. They were definitely “what were you thinking?” type of guys, especially the 2 mentioned at the opening- I focused very little on the person and more on the end result.

2. Dating with Intention.
I investigated my dating history and they were all pointless. There were no clear intentions or standards set in the beginning. They were all “I like you, you like me, lets see what happens”. – 4 words no woman should fall for-. There were no clear boundaries. No clear communication. It was all unhealthy. Not only were the relationships not clear, but neither was I. I had no clue what I wanted in a relationship. I didn’t understand the value of what I was bringing to a relationship and what I should be receiving from one. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had no clue how relationships worked. Sure, I had examples, but they all seemed to be unhappy or settling for things that didn’t align with their morals or values. –and I did not want to be one of those people.- Even though I knew what I didn’t want, I still wasn’t clear on what I did want.

I’m a researcher, I have to have understanding. The “why” must be answered. So, I did what any researcher would do; I read. I read books, 4 specifically; The Conversation– Hill Harper, Relationship Goals– Michael Todd, Judge This Cover-Brittany Renner, and The Game of Desire– Shannon Boodram.

I have read The Conversation many years ago. I remember it being so packed with gems, that I wrote notes in the margins and highlighted sentences throughout the book. I decided to reread it. The gems were still valid. It is, however, geared more toward people already in a relationship, but it gave me insight.

I loved the Youtube series Relationship Goals so much! It was actually the first thing I watched while struggling through the pain of losing the friendship. I learned a lot by watching the series. So, when Michael Todd wrote a book, I brought it on preorder. The book was so different from the series, which I loved, no one wants to read something they’ve already heard verbatim. There were some parts of the book I disagreed with, but he does speak about all kinds of relationships as it relates to God. I had to keep reminding myself that the book isn’t just talking about romantic relationships. Also, every relationship doesn’t have to work according to someone else’s interpretation of the bible. Overall, I enjoyed the book and got a real grasp about faith in relationships.

Ill admit, I was a little reluctant to read Judge This Cover by Brittany Renner. Brittany Renner is a social media star who is best known for her sexy photos and fitness on Instagram. She has made a name for herself by posting workout videos and promoting fitness products. Brittany has been known to date some very famous people. It is said that most of the relationships she refers to in her book are about those famous people, although the names have been changed in the book. I was really shocked by how insightful this book was. I related to her and her struggles with dating. Though she was a little more free in her sexuality, I admired her willingness to bare it all in the book. She also gave a different perspective and some great advice. Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone. Most people I know that did read it, did so to be nosy about her life, but ended up loving the book for her insight. I’m telling you it was a great read!

Lastly, I read The Game of Desire. I was pleasantly surprised by this book. If you’re not familiar with Shannon Boodram, she is a certified intimacy educator who teaches people to be more competent and confident as it relates sexology. My judgement of the book pre-reading it was that it was going to be mostly about sex. While there is, of course, sex talk in the book, the book is mostly about you. Discovering who you are, your love language, your personality traits, your intimacy language etc, and how to use that to be present in your dating life. There is a workbook you can fill out prior to reading which I highly recommend. I learned more about who I am as a person reading this book, than I did about dating. I honestly wished I would have read this book first. This is a book I highly recommend everyone read.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

3. Self-Love
You knew we were going to end up here! I preach this. Every time I think I have finally obtained the highest level of loving yourself, I find something that could use extra work, a little extra love. When it came to intimacy and body positivity, I lacked majorly. I noticed in the bedroom or times of vulnerability; I was very mean to myself. –You know the talk “suck it in don’t let them see you have a gut, eww” “wear something to cover your arms no one needs to see those Hammocks” “ you want to wear shorts, have you seen your thighs??” “Make sure it’s dark when you take your pants off gotta hide those stretch marks, that’ll be a major turn off”.– Being sexual with some one may have felt good, physically, but mentally I was beating myself up with negative talk the entire time and after was worse.

I have struggled with my weight ever since I took the depo shot. My body has been through a lot. I have gotten trainers, changed my diet, taken weight loss pills, different diet fads all to try to lose weight. I cant remember a time in my adult life that I actually loved my body. There were certain things about myself I wanted to change, and I would, only to gain it back. Doctors would tell me to change my diet or to eat smaller meals more frequently and if I got sick they would say it was just a stomach flu. It wasn’t until I landed in the ER twice with the same doctor that pointed out that something wasn’t right; did I really start to find answers.

After getting diagnosed and getting a treatment plan together, I really began to focus on my health as a whole. I began to make the correct changes and my body actually responded. I began to look more and more like the person I saw in my mind. My self-talk became positive. Sure, there are still somethings I’m a little self-conscious about, but the positive outweighs the negative. The negative is what I strive to give the most love to. Constant reminders that we are regular people and look like real people. We don’t have tiny waists and giant asses. Our breast will have a little sag to them. Stretch marks are a part of growth your body is constantly changing, and facial hair is a thing, almost everyone has it. Society and social media will have you out here changing who you are to fit their standards of beauty rather than loving the way God created you. No knock to plastic surgery, if that’s a path you want or need to take to love who you are, more power to you, go forth and do that, but make sure it’s for you and not for the world. “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I have been purposely single for a year. Every now and again I’ll feel alone, but I’m not lonely. I have found less of a desire to be in a relationship and more of a desire to be comfortable with who I am before inviting someone into my space; my peace. I’m more understanding about my love life and what I need and require to continue to flourish and grow. I’m no longer feeling bitter…. I’m better.-does my tagline make more sense to you now?-

Would you take a year off from dating to learn yourself? Let me know in the comments below!

As always, remember,

Don’t be Bitter,

Be Better!!

Capture4

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

World Stop! Carry on..

I am an introvert at heart. I enjoy having fun and being social, but as much fun as that is, it’s also draining. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy being in my own world with my quirky little habits. I enjoy dancing around my house in my underwear singing at the top of my lungs eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
failed-resolutions-resized-600When this past year started, I had so many goals I wanted to accomplish. I’m usually the person that makes New Year’s Resolutions, but a month into the New Year; I completely blank on or forgot about those resolutions. –I have been trying to lose 30 pounds for 3 years -_-. Going into 2016 I really want to check some stuff off my list and I did, but once my list was getting checked off it only made me want to add more. This is where the balancing act came into play.

Balance.
Life is like a game of juggle sometimes. You juggle your needs, wants, career, and sometimes the curve ball life throws at you. You can become so focused on the game that you begin to lose sight of life and being in the moment. You become so focused on the act of juggling, that it’s routine. The game isn’t fun anymore, and now your body has the anigif_enhanced-buzz-21476-1427232414-14instinct and naturally knows how to juggle. So much so, that you can juggle with your eyes closed. The fun is now replaced with stress. Your arms are getting heavy, but you are focused. You are not going to let any of the balls drop. Your eyes are weary. Your body is giving out, but you are so determined to complete your task you ignore the signs. Until one day, you drop a ball. And like a snowball effect, all the balls fall. Your body has reached its limit. And you’re out the game. Mentally drained and physically exhausted.

Relaxation.

I had to take a step back. Mentally and physically I had no choice. I’m used to working 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. I’m used to never pursuing things I want for myself. I changed that in 2016. I explored hobbies, I found my purpose, and I pursued my dreams, all while maintaining 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. –talk about juggling! One morning I woke up, and physically could not move, work was not an option. I went to the doctor for her to tell me I was exhausted and I had a few vitamin deficiency and she gave me a mandatory 2 days off- which doesn’t seem like much, but it was very much needed to someone who only gets holidays off-

Thank God for friends. I took a trip to my friend’s lake house and got some much needed relaxation. While there in the middle of nowhere I found a little bit of restoration and rejuvenation.

Realization.

bossWe as individuals can be so hard on ourselves. Something inside me wanted to achieve so bad, which can sometimes be a good thing, but at what cost? I compare myself to my role models, people I aspire to become. If they can do it, what’s stopping me? I live by “You have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé. Get shit done.” Not a bad motto when you are Beyoncé and you have a team of people helping you to achieve your goals and dreams. I’m just one person. The actor, the cameraman, the editor, and the news reporter on my own story.

 

Re-invention.

7408e98bb9a3427e2cc6a218958dbfa8Going into this new year, let’s change up the way we do things –New Year, new me, who dis?- I had the concept right last year,3 goals, break those goals down into months, then weeks, then days. Work on them each little by little until the goal is complete.-I even made a video about it, see below or click ⇒ here – Sounds logical right? Until life happens and then what goals? Implementation is key right? Creating the goal and starting the goal is the easy part, actually following through and completing the goal that’s a completely different ball game- that I haven’t even made the team for, OK!-One of the things I find that hinders myself from completing the goal, is my mindset. If you think positive you stay positive, if you think this is going to fail, it will fail, if you think negative well you get what you think.- see where this is going?

42fda8172eb2c6d21113218e525032fe I have to constantly check in with myself once those feelings arise. I self-doubt, A LOT. Any form of art, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable. You’re literally taking something that is very special to you, something that took, hours, days, months, and years to make and then you present it for the world to see and not everyone is going to like it- that you know- but you are just hoping it is received well. You hope that it was received in the light that you made it in. As a writer, everything I publish is my baby, so I’m very protective of it. I struggle with writing sometimes because I can get a bit too personal. I’m very proud of what I write, I know it helps sooo many of you. Knowing that should be enough for me to keep going right? WRONG! I began to doubt that what I have to say is not very important. But isn’t it? That’s where I have to check myself. Ok, I’m feeling self-doubt. But that’s my own fear not allowing me to be great and fear and faith can’t reside in the same place. I have to literally tell myself out loud I am more than this. I am better than this someone out there is depending on me. I check that emotion and I continue on my way. Dreading going to work? Check that emotion, if you think it will be a shitty day guess what? It will be a shitty day! Humble yourself. Do you know how many people would kill for that very job so they can have that income?! It’s all about retraining your thoughts. As soon as that thought comes in CHECK THAT SHIT!

 

 

What’s going on?!

 


This week’s blog was originally going to be about my break from social media, but in light of recent events, who would I be if I didn’t use my platform to talk about something that affects my community and my heritage? I am sadden that I do not see many brands speaking out on the recent killings, but I am happy to see certain celebrities in the streets doing the marches and making an effort to see change to fruition.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice every where.-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

This is bigger than all of us.  This change needs to happen for the children. It feels like between Martin Luther King’s assassination and President Obama being elected the change that was taking place just fell stagnant. The hate began to grow and became something that has been brewing beneath the surface for a while now.

Black-Lives-Matter-quotesI see a lack of understanding and empathy. The one thing every human being goes through is struggle. My struggle may not look like yours, but we have all struggled at one point or another. We all have the ability to empathize with each other over our different struggles. At this moment in time, why is it so hard to empathize that one particular group is hurting and struggling and needs help? America can acknowledge that when it comes to world hunger, disease, or even allying with nations to take down Hitler, but when a particular group is being slowly eradicated in their homeland, America turns a blind eye.  We scream till we have no voice that #BlackLivesMatter only to be negated and told ‘no, you’re wrong #AllLivesMatter.’ Do they? Because the group that is being harmed is an obvious sign that they don’t all matter. I wouldn’t go to a breast cancer march and yell #ProstateCancerMatters! no only would that be disrespectful, but it would interrupt the cause at hand. Yes, we know it needs help, but right now breast cancer is taking women down at an alarming rate, lets heal this first and then we can help you. So, yes Duh #AllLivesMatter but until Black Lives are included in All Lives, lets heal that wound first. What is most frustrating about this statement is the refusal to see that there is a problem.

“If you stick a knife nine inches into my back and pull it out three inches, that is not progress. Even if you pull it all the way out, that is not progress. Progress is healing the wound, and America hasn’t even begun to pull out the knife.”-Malcolm X

It’s no secret that police brutality on blacks is very common, dating further back than Rodney King’s violent and excessive beating by police that caused the Watts Riots to the hanging of black men in the public for even looking at a white woman. Justice has never really been served for the black community.  But how can it in a system, or world that has set us up to fail from the beginning?

marvin-gayes-quotes-6Let’s give a real history lesson and not the one they make look real pretty in the education system.-if they even still teach that, but I digress that’s a completely different blog post-
Being slaves for over 4oo years was damaging enough- Let’s not get into the effects that can have on a people- Only to get freedom and that’s it. Now the slaves where free with no food, no home, and no money.  What were they going to do to survive? Sharecropping! This worked 3 ways-

  1. Workers can rent plots of land from the owner for a certain sum and keep the whole crop.
  2. Workers work on the land and earn a fixed wage from the land owner but keep some of the crop.
  3. No money changes hands but the worker and land owner each keep a share of the crop.

This sounds like a good idea until you throw in the bitterness the slave owner felt for now having to form some sort of agreement with his slaves and the fact that the terms were completely left in the hands of the slave owner for most of these slaves had no education and were not business savvy. Essentially, they became more in debt than actually being able to earn a living –sound familiar? Somehow the newly free slaves managed to get by living on very little, but now segregation and Jim Crow laws are in effect and well we all know that story. Tack on over 60 years of segregation, the civil rights movement and earning the right to vote in 1965- my mother was born in 1966, is this hitting home yet?- and now we are here. People want to throw up how slavery was so long ago, and it was but what about segregation? There are people still alive and well who can remember in detail the civil rights movement. That can remember in detail the first black kids to go to am all white school. who can remember in detail not being able to vote.

1539b773805ba541ec8465e93f949057On paper, it does seem like that was long ago. In reality it was not that long ago. My generation would be the first to grow up with a fully integrated society and racism not so in your face- but trust and believe it is there- which is why I think it’s a little harder for people to grasp that there is a problem because we’ve been walking around blind to it.
So what can we do to see this change to fruition?
I’m so glad you asked! We have been systematically taught one way. In order to begin a change we have to restructure the systems way of teaching. Or in the words of Jesse Williams “Restructure the function”. I wish there was a right or wrong answer for this, but unfortunately there is not a manual we can pull out that tells us how to fix the machine. Here are some things that would be a great start:

“It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality”-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

  1. Voting.
    In 1965 African Americans were given the right to vote. Our ancestor lost their lives for this right so how dare you not exercise your right?! Here the gag though, I was never taught how to vote. I will be the first to admit, I only voted for the president and blindly clicked on whatever name sounded good for the House and the Senate. – Actually the first time I went to vote for the president I didn’t even know we had to vote for the house and senate. – Educate yourself on what elections are going on within your community. This is very important. Not only does the presidential election matter, but your local elections matter even more. These are the elections that directly affect your day to day life. Make sure you know who you are voting for. This is huge! Remember a leader is nothing without the right team and vice versa.

 

2. Getting our officers to know the community.
If you saw your local police officers out of uniform would you know them? Do you only see them when you’re getting pulled over or needing emergency help? This is like the child that only gets disciplined hard by one parent, eventually they will begin to resent that parent. I think it’s crucial to know who is protecting us. I realize some cities are bigger than others and it may be a little harder to do so but I think –dare I say this- it’s a major key to breaking down that barrier. Also, we need officers to break the mold and stand up when they know an officer is wrong or when a situation should have been handled different. They never admit their fault. Any good leader will tell you in order to lead, you have to admit when there was a mistake made and how you are going to rectify the mistake. If you cannot do that, no one will ever trust the system. Kudos to the governor of Minnesota for publicly admitting the situation could have been handled better.

 

Black-Business-Statistics

3. Building and uplifting black owned businesses.
Why are we so hell bent on not helping each other? I see it so often in other cultures. Asians, Indians, Hispanics hell even white people will band together and help their families, but black people FORGET IT! You are on your own. We make fun of the Hispanics and the Asians for being huddle in a small house but who is coming out on top? We need to learn to build each other up and not tear each other down. We are told by too many people that we will never amount to anything, let’s not do that to each other. Get out and support black owned businesses. Maybe if we can raise enough awareness, those that can’t seem to get a job because of their background and begin to make money the legal way.

 

Graduates stand for the anthem "Lift Every Voice and Sing" during 2014 commencement ceremonies at Howard University in Washington May 10, 2014. Entertainer Sean Combs delivered the commencement address and received an honorary degree in Humanities during the ceremony. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES - Tags: EDUCATION ENTERTAINMENT SOCIETY) - RTR3OLDN

  1. Educate yourself
    I cannot preach this enough. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! Be a sponge absorb everything! you may not need education to be in the field you’re in? So what! Learn anyway it helps you grow as a person. Learn culture. You don’t necessarily have to be in a classroom to learn. Stop relying on these facebook articles to teach you –and teach you the wrong thing- do your research. Stop spreading propaganda. Pick up a book and let your imagination grow. Hate reading? Listen to audible. It’s too many resources out here to not educate yourself. Give a HBCU a try. –I recommend doing your research before just trying ANY HBCU- however our colleges are becoming a thing of the past because we are losing the resources to keep them open due to attendance. Educate yourself on current legislator and laws being passed. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS! A fool can be easily lead and manipulated. Trust people count on that.

“Ghettoizing and demeaning our creations, then stealing them, gentrifying our genius, then trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies like rinds of strange fruit. The thing is though, just because we’re magic doesn’t mean we’re not real.” -Jesse Williams

  1. The media
    If there is one thing I could change within my own power it would be the media and its carelessness for the families of the slain. The coverage the media provides does more harm than good in some cases. Following the 2 shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, there was very little national media coverage on it UNTIL the shooting in Dallas took place and all of a sudden it was around the clock coverage. They were more concerned with Hilary Clintons email-which were important but all day coverage? ALL DAY?!- Than they were about the developments of the two shootings that were clearly affecting communities. The way African Americans are portrayed in the media is disgusting. African Americans are instantly labeled as thugs and criminals. They will put up a mug shot and dispel their criminal history- or allege they have one- before they offer condolences, while Caucasians are depicted as mentally unstable and shown as a model citizen after a mass shooting. This is another form of systematic racism. And it needs to change today!

image

Lastly, divided we fall united we stand. Gain some understanding for one another. There’s people out here trying to understand and asking what may seem like dumb question, but some people really are that blind. For some people they see only sunshine and rainbows, while others see thunderstorms and rain. Don’t tear them down listen to understand and not just to reply- Gosh that’s my biggest pet peeve- get out of your own agenda and listen for a second. We truly have to be able to have a dialog in order to come together. If we can’t have an open honest dialog with one another if we can’t put to use the basic function of conversation we will never get anywhere. Break down that barrier.

“There really can be no peace without justice. There can be no justice without truth. And there can be no truth, unless someone rises up to tell you the truth.”- Louis Farrakhan

I would love to hear from you. These were just things I think could be done to move forward, but I’m sure there are many more. Let’s open a dialog and discuss. Please note I will delete hateful comments.

 

Let’s Recap, Toast to the Halfway Mark!

I had a lot of fun with the Month of Music. Thank you again to all the artist that allowed me to interview them, I enjoyed every minute! I hope some networking came from it, you got new fans, and maybe some new opportunities.

Now that the Month of Music is over, lets get back to our regularly schedule program. With it being June-OMG the year is halfway over AHHHHH!- I’ve been looking over my goals and I can’t believe I have everything pretty much checked off! How are you guys doing with that? -If you are lost, check this out.

Can you believe that was my very first goal of the year? Lets talk about something you guys may not know. I make a lot of things sound very easy on here, but life is not as breezy as it appears.

I have had a rough start to my year. One of the worst things -or so i thought- that happened was I got laid off from my full time job. For 30 seconds after I got laid off I panicked. All these thoughts about bills, money, and what to do next flooded my head. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do.

IMG_4071
Meet your VIP and Event Staff for concert scenes on “Nashville”

After about 30 seconds of freaking out and praying, calmness came over me and I knew everything was going to be a
lright. It’s was going to be rocky, but it was going to be okay.

I took the time off to dive into things that were always just a dream to me. I got a wonderful opportunity to be on a popular TV show, I started my YouTube channel, and I really started to take my blogging seriously. Now all of this sounds so exciting; and it was. However, there were times when I was uncertain, scared, and completely shut down from being overwhelmed.

These first 6 months of the year were full of up and downs. A lot of downs and a lot of dwelling in the moment. Gosh, I am the queen of dwelling. I don’t know how to move on from something that truly hurt me. I’m so used to doing it, that I don’t even realize I do it.

Something Keke Palmer said-if you don’t follow her on snapchat, you are doing yourself a huge disservice- really spoke to me, she said we as human beings can reply a moment over and over again in our head, and we allow the energy of that moment, when somebody or something hurt us, to spill into other good moments, and ruin what could have been a great moment. So allow yourself to feel that bad moment for seconds, or hours, but know that only you have the power to let it go.

DeathDwellingPastStayingI never allowed myself to feel those bad moments.I never realized that I, Me and only ME, had the power to move on from that moment. I would take those moments and add them to this brick wall I was building. And every time I had a good moment I would pick out that brick that hurt me and no matter how good that moment was, I would ruin it. Self sabotaging. I would turn what could have been a beautiful moment, or what I could have turned into a positive on only focus on the negative the moment presented. Waiting for a  series of good moments to change my moo
d.

“Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”

I had a couple bad moments within the first half of the year. Every time I thought I hit rock bottom, I hit a lower floor. But after I heard those words, I allowed myself to feel that moment for however long I needed and instead of using that brick to build a wall, I used it to build my foundation. J.K Rowling said, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”.  Rather than be hurt by those moments, I’m grateful. I learned. I grew. I’m stronger.

6358791146522069822127800330_learn from the pastSo Often we are told that its our perception of a situation that defines it. If you look at it as a negative, it will be negative. If you think of it as positive it will be a positive moment. And if you look at it as a blessing, it will be a blessing. i had a lot of unexpected “negatives”, but each “negative” prepared me for the next. Had I not gone through the one before, I wouldn’t have known how to handle the next. -Blessings-
As we move into the last half of the year, lets practice changing our mind set. -Positive Vibes Only, even the so called negative ones-

I’ve been keeping to my 3 major goals- I’ve have knocked 2 off, 1 being taking my blogging seriously, 2. is well…. announcement coming soon :)- but one of my minor goals-not even sure if you could call it that so lets go with practice- is to be present in the moment. Too often I am so focused on my phone shuffling between apps that I have wasted HOURS.

So, I will be removing myself from the social media world until July and I invite anyone reading this blog to join me! Blogs are already scheduled and will still go up every Monday- so if you’re not subscribed, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???- I will return in July with what I was able to change, accomplish and learn. I may pop up in-between with my special announcement, who knows…. keep your eyes out on IG- @lilsisveebspot.

 

Until Next Time Guys!

Like-Comment- Share

 don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

XOXO

 

P.Cole

Coming from Maryland, now residing in Middle Tennessee, I met this next artist at the start of his career. The artist and producer featured , P. Cole, has been around music his whole life. Taking influences from the north mixing it with a little southern trap, P. Cole is taking the hip-hop industry to a new level.

In this interview I wanted to showcase one of his many talents, producing and creating beats. Watch as I take you behind the scenes to see how he creates beat and his take on the hip-hop industry. Click the link here or watch below ,to get to know the artist P.Cole.

Check out his sound cloud here:Soundcloud

For business inquiries: RealColemusic@gmail.com

Until Next Time Guys!

XOXO

Happy Mother’s Day!

With today being Mother’s day, I wanted to take this time to tell my mother how much I appreciate everything she does.

img_9783img_0353  img_3212

BUT, I can tell you better than I can write it , so click the link → HERE ←and check out what I have to say!

Also, I’m curious to see if you guys are interested in seeing more or less videos so comment here, or on Youtube and let me know!

 

Until next time!

XOXO