A Toast to the Last Decade

As we reached the New Year, I’ve been deep in thought about the last decade. I’ve watched as everyone posted his or her accomplishments, or the highlight reel, over the last decade. Most people posted the typical American story finished college, met the love of their life, got their dream job, got engaged, got married and had kids. As much as I wanted to be involved, I couldn’t come up with anything remotely close other than the fact that I survived.

I enjoyed reading everyone’s highlight reel, but a piece of me was infuriated. Did everyone, but me have an awesome success story?? Was no one’s decade as awful as mine? Were we not being real with ourselves?? I know we don’t like to dwell on the negative, but really it can’t all be positive all of the time.

For me, the past decade was whack. I’m talking wiggity whack. It was the worst. It was also my 20s so there’s something to say about that –the struggle years, I like to call them lol– When they ask you were do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years, my answer was not where I am today. So when it came to the end of the decade, I felt renewed.  I was honestly ready for this New Year, new decade; simply put I was just ready for new beginnings.

The beginning of the decade, 2010, started off bad. My mother broke her leg and had to fight workers comp to approve to get it fixed.  It took 3 months and it healed incorrectly in the process. It took 2 years to get through that. I was 25 when I filed bankruptcy, the first time. Medical bills plus no steady full time income and having to help my mother, well it was a lot financially. I managed to graduate, but owed over 25k in student loans. I was almost homeless… 5 times.  I was laid off from my job, twice. I dated nothing but fuck boys-one even proposed to someone else while we were dating, tf?!-I became very ill and the doctor’s cant figure out what is wrong with me. That’s not even half of what contributed to that terrible decade.

Believe me I got stories for days and we’ll get into them. Even through all that bad, I guess some good did come from it, though not the tangible kind. I’m a stronger person. I am more resilient. I’m more patient when getting to know someone. I learned and I’m still growing in my financial literacy. I’ve learned to love and trust myself.

The last decade prepared me for life. Most people didn’t live the life I did growing up. It was difficult. My mother struggled to provide for my brother and me. We lived in the hood and both went on to have to learn to provide as adults.

No one taught us or prepared us for adulthood. We didn’t have any handouts, nothing was given to us we had to work for everything, and fail many times to get it right.

I grew up this last decade. The hell I went through-and the hell I didn’t mention– made me all the things I am today. I don’t regret a thing, not even the pain. I learned a lot about myself. I matured.

Now that we are well into the New Year, I feel prepared. I’m ready to do life.  To apply what I’ve been through and what I’ve learned, and use it to better myself going forward.

How was the 2010-2019 decade for you? What are you most looking forward to accomplish? Let’s talk about it!

And remember,

Don’t be bitter,

Be better!

Who Do You Love?

Valentines-Day-Chuck  As a single person with friends, married and in relationships, it looks as though it’s a long road. You begin to get questions such as when are you getting a man? You’re too pretty to be single? You must be lonely? And you even begin to question yourself, what’s wrong with me? I wish I had somebody to go here, why can’t I find a decent man? I too put myself in this boat.

pk3h2GdElEexThen something strange happened. I began to take the focus off of finding a man and put the focus on me. I began to find out who I was, what I wanted, and what made me happy.

What I eventually learned was that I like being single! -say what?- you read that right! I like having my space. I enjoy my peace and quiet. I like time to myself. I like getting to discover who I am and what I like and don’t like.

Don’t get me wrong every now and again it’s nice to experience those things with another. But I’m so invested in myself and the life I’m creating for me that it’s going to take someone pretty amazing to distract, attract me. I’m young and God willing I’ll live a long life and be able to experience that with the one God blesses me with, but for now I’m having fun. I’m investing in myself. And I must say I’m loving every minute of it!blogger-image-1106284924

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If She Can Do It So Can You!

blogger-image--1855631577To bring this topic of discovering your purpose and following your dreams to a close, I thought it would be great to hear from someone who did just that! I reached out to Samantha W. who just recently launched her own line Pretty Curvie last week. She so graciously did an interview with me. I wanted to really find out, what gave her the courage to start and launch her clothing line. So lets get right into it:
When did you discover what it was that you wanted to do and how did you put it into action?

High school was really when I knew that I wanted to pursue a career in fashion after being apart of an organization named DECA. I have always been into fashion and knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I knew I wanted to own a clothing company. I would always write my ideas and goals down in a journal.

Writing down your goals is always a great start, write it down and speak it into existence is what I’ve always been told. Your slogan is “Inspire Confidence, Exude Beauty”, which I love by the way- what made you come up with that concept?

My slogan is “Inspire Confidence, Exude Beauty,” because my mission is to inspire women to fall in love with the woman in the mirror. I want women to embrace and be confident in whom they are, no matter their size. We have all seen someone wear something that looks really cute on them but we say to ourselves, “I wish I was confident enough to wear that.” I love to see women that are comfortable in their skin! Confidence it beautiful!

Speaking of courage, I know that from experience sometimes you have to just stop talking about it and do it, no matter the situations that seem to be a deterrent; how long has Pretty Curvie been in the making? And did you ever doubt that it wasn’t going to come to fruition?

Pretty Curvie has been in the making a little over a year. I was working at a warehouse and miserable. I felt as though I was sitting on my talent and wasting my life away. One day as I was walking through aisles at work God gave me “Pretty Curvie.” I didn’t have the money but each day I wrote down my ideas. I had moments where I wasn’t sure if it would actually happen, simply because I didn’t have the money at the time to invest in myself.
I think its great that you never lost sight of where you wanted to take your line; Was your recent move, [to Chicago] a propeller to get you line on its feet?

The funny thing about that question is the answer is no. I moved to Chicago not knowing what to expect. I just knew I wanted something better. It was a HUGE struggle for me to move here, but I felt like that is where God was leading me for this next season. My first week here I was speaking with someone and they were asking me my goals and what I wanted to achieve in life. I presented them with Pretty Curvie and they believed in me enough to invest in me. I had faith that God had a plan but I had no idea within a week of being in Chicago I would be starting a business.
God works in mysterious ways! So many of us struggle with the confidence to step out on our own; What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with self-insecurities to help them be more confident?

The advice I would give to someone who is struggling with self-insecurities is to stop worrying what people say about you. As long as you have breath in your body, you will be talked about. Fall in love with yourself. Focus on what you love about yourself and not the negative. Don’t look to society to validate you. I feel like we get so caught up on what we see on social media and television and majority of it is fake.
That’s awesome advice especially with social media being as big as it is. It can actually be both harmful and helpful; what advice would you give young entrepreneurs to follow their dreams?

The advice I would give to young entrepreneurs is to go for it and do not give up. Even if you do not have the money, keep a journal and plan as if you do. You never know how or who God will use to bless you.


There you have it folks. HUGE congratulations to Samantha on her launch of Pretty Curvie. It is now live, so head over to www. PrettyCurvie.com! Also, follow them on Instagram and catch the latest products before they hit @PRETTYCURVIE. Thank you again Samantha for doing this interview! I hope your words will empower someone to go after that dream they have in their head and make it a reality. Whatever happens guys, believe in yourself and stay true to you! Whatever is for you will never miss you! Until next time…

You Have To Do It For You!

blogger-image-600708143I’m a firm believer in if you do what you love success will come. It may not be within a week/month/year, trust it will take time. You will have to work hard! But if it’s something your very passionate about, it won’t seem like work at all.Find what you love to do and do that. I would rather be broke and doing what I love to do than miserable and making somebody else rich in the process.

If you can’t stop thinking about it; DO IT! I had dreams when I was younger. I was very passionate about certain things. Somewhere along the way I felt like my dreams weren’t valid. My dreams were too big to reach. I would constantly talk myself out of those dreams “like girl tone it down”. I think this was because I didn’t see anyone else reaching for these dreams. At a young age, I was preached at to go to school, get good grades, and get a good job. That was the path that was said to me so much; I kind of lost sight of what it was I really wanted to do and began to adopt that view. I think this is mainly why I am taking so long to finish school –lol- because I know that it’s not what I am passionate about. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the work, I just didn’t want to. I felt like it was a waste of time.- I’m going to finish thoughblogger-image-1530819145

It wasn’t until I lost my financial aid did I really began to think about what I wanted to do in life. When making this decision I had to realize I couldn’t do this for anyone, but myself. I thought about all the things I loved to do, like hobbies or things I would love to do. This took some soul searching. I didn’t really get to explore a lot of things I liked when I was younger due to time or money. I come from a single parent household. My mother didn’t always have time to take me to practices due to her work schedule. I was in band in elementary school and danced when I was in middle and high school, but that was as far as it went. If the bus couldn’t take me home, I couldn’t walk, or I couldn’t find a ride, IT WASN’T HAPPENING. So I didn’t really get to explore the things I really wanted to, like gymnastics, volleyball, cheer leading, dance team etc. Now that I am older, it was a bit more challenging to find things I am passionate about. I would be so envious of people who knew without a doubt that they wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or own their own business. I found myself comparing my journey to theirs. Asking myself why can’t I be more like them and what are they doing differently than me?
Now, if you’re religious-like me- this is where God became a huge factor. I was lost and I needed guidance. I began to be very specific in my prayers. This is just what worked for me. Now that I know what I want to do and I have a vision in my head of the “end game and finish line” –let’s be honest it aint over till you’re 6 feet under- I’m killing myself trying to make it happen. I work a full time job, a part time job, and after that I hustle for myself. It’s hard. I’m not going to lie to you, but at the end of the day-I sooo hate that phrase, but it’s fitting here- I know I have to push myself to do better and get to where I want to be. You have to do it for you!AAEAAQAAAAAAAAKSAAAAJDc3MmQzOGJkLTNhNGItNGRiZi05MjkyLWE1MmEwOTIxNjdhMg

Flaws and All

flawsDisclaimer– I run a very open honest blog. This is what I consider a no judgment zone blog ( is there even such a thing these day YES!) the subject in this blog is very touchy for me so if you feel like y   our going to judge either exit stage left, or keep your negative opinions to yourself.

As the title suggest, I will be talking about flaws, or what is considered a flaw. In today’s society we put a huge amount of pressure on celebrity’s to look a certain way. In actuality, we put this pressure dfbon everyone, myself included. I find myself taking a million selfies just to get the perfect picture and even that picture gets some editing. Often times when a picture is snapped of me, I hate the outcome. I don’t consider myself ugly-everybody should think of himself or herself as the most beautiful person in the world-but I do believe in bad pictures or angles.

blogger-image-69863838Why do we put this pressure to look a certain way that can often be way different from what we actually look like? Or why are we so embarrassed about what we consider physical flaws that we become obsessed in hiding them? For example, (and I can only speak for myself and what I consider my flaws to be) I have facial hair like nobody’s business – I could probably grow a beard faster than my brother lol- ok its not that bad, but still. It has become such a hindrance (because tweezing the hair leaves behind dark spots) for me that I have become accustomed to different methods to get rid of it. Although I am looking into more permanent solutions, for now before I take a picture I find myself making the perfect pose to hide my scars -which are mostly on my neck-. Or let’s say it’s a body issue, I struggle with my weight, mostly because I’m a stress eater and a bottomless pit around that time of the month -sorry fellas- here lately I’ve gained more weight than usual and although it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be, I still find myself wearing spanx or a corset to smooth it out. Muffin top is a no-no boo boo
get-your-life-copyWe as women put so much pressure on ourselves and for what? The things we considered imperfect, a man doesn’t even notice. And we as woman are so hard on other women. We will pick each other apart as if we were dipped in gold ourselves. The most beautiful picture on Instagram will have something wrong with it to somebody. So again I ask, why are we killing ourselves for the opinion of another that we will never be perfect for?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Today I say stop being so hard on ones self about the standard of beauty. You set your standard. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So I urge you in this post to spread positivity! Give compliments not criticize. We ladies have it hard enough as it is. So live in your flaws! Let it fly free! ROCK THE HELL OUT THAT SHIT!blogger-image--617808458

Forgive Them and Forget Them

blogger-image--404845866Going into 2016, I felt as though there were certain things, friendships, and situations that I needed to leave in 2015. I purged. I purged friendships that no longer served a purpose. I purged people that no longer had the same mind set has me and I severed ties to anything that weren’t for me or serving a purpose to me.

That’s what you do right? So you can walk into a new year lighter and ready to be filled with new things. I suffered a lot in 2015, but I learned the most. I grew because of all that I have suffered. Don’t get me wrong I’m a work in progress every day. I still want to pull out petty patty and lash out when I’ve been done wrong or felt like I’ve been put in a position I didn’t ask to be in, but I’ve learned it not for them; it’s for me.
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It’s not for them, it’s for ME. That’s a huge lesson I’m still learning. I’m learning to be selfish with me. I’m learning to forgive for me. I’m learning to let go for me. Learning to let go seemed to be my lesson for 2015. I don’t think I quite understood it till the end. You guys know I like closure. I NEED closure for me. I also do not like to let go of things I really care about. I’ll fight tooth and nail to hold on to them, but something’s and people need to be let go. No t for them, but for you. They may be blocking a blessing that you need to receive. They may be occupying a space that God has someone else to fill. It’s hard to let go, but you need to let go for you.

“Forgiveness is not defeat. It’s simply forfeiting a worthless war.”

After that purge of the spirit, I like to call it, I felt ready. I’m ready to receive and achieve. My spirit is open to things I’ve been dreaming about for years. I feel like I’m finally in the position to take what should have been mine a lonnnnnngggggg time ago. (it could’ve been mine but I was playing!) Play time is over though and now it’s time to WORK! Are you ready?!blogger-image--29388611

PSSSSSTTTTTT…….something special is about to happen……hmmmmm