World Stop! Carry on..

I am an introvert at heart. I enjoy having fun and being social, but as much fun as that is, it’s also draining. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy being in my own world with my quirky little habits. I enjoy dancing around my house in my underwear singing at the top of my lungs eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
failed-resolutions-resized-600When this past year started, I had so many goals I wanted to accomplish. I’m usually the person that makes New Year’s Resolutions, but a month into the New Year; I completely blank on or forgot about those resolutions. –I have been trying to lose 30 pounds for 3 years -_-. Going into 2016 I really want to check some stuff off my list and I did, but once my list was getting checked off it only made me want to add more. This is where the balancing act came into play.

Balance.
Life is like a game of juggle sometimes. You juggle your needs, wants, career, and sometimes the curve ball life throws at you. You can become so focused on the game that you begin to lose sight of life and being in the moment. You become so focused on the act of juggling, that it’s routine. The game isn’t fun anymore, and now your body has the anigif_enhanced-buzz-21476-1427232414-14instinct and naturally knows how to juggle. So much so, that you can juggle with your eyes closed. The fun is now replaced with stress. Your arms are getting heavy, but you are focused. You are not going to let any of the balls drop. Your eyes are weary. Your body is giving out, but you are so determined to complete your task you ignore the signs. Until one day, you drop a ball. And like a snowball effect, all the balls fall. Your body has reached its limit. And you’re out the game. Mentally drained and physically exhausted.

Relaxation.

I had to take a step back. Mentally and physically I had no choice. I’m used to working 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. I’m used to never pursuing things I want for myself. I changed that in 2016. I explored hobbies, I found my purpose, and I pursued my dreams, all while maintaining 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. –talk about juggling! One morning I woke up, and physically could not move, work was not an option. I went to the doctor for her to tell me I was exhausted and I had a few vitamin deficiency and she gave me a mandatory 2 days off- which doesn’t seem like much, but it was very much needed to someone who only gets holidays off-

Thank God for friends. I took a trip to my friend’s lake house and got some much needed relaxation. While there in the middle of nowhere I found a little bit of restoration and rejuvenation.

Realization.

bossWe as individuals can be so hard on ourselves. Something inside me wanted to achieve so bad, which can sometimes be a good thing, but at what cost? I compare myself to my role models, people I aspire to become. If they can do it, what’s stopping me? I live by “You have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé. Get shit done.” Not a bad motto when you are Beyoncé and you have a team of people helping you to achieve your goals and dreams. I’m just one person. The actor, the cameraman, the editor, and the news reporter on my own story.

 

Re-invention.

7408e98bb9a3427e2cc6a218958dbfa8Going into this new year, let’s change up the way we do things –New Year, new me, who dis?- I had the concept right last year,3 goals, break those goals down into months, then weeks, then days. Work on them each little by little until the goal is complete.-I even made a video about it, see below or click ⇒ here – Sounds logical right? Until life happens and then what goals? Implementation is key right? Creating the goal and starting the goal is the easy part, actually following through and completing the goal that’s a completely different ball game- that I haven’t even made the team for, OK!-One of the things I find that hinders myself from completing the goal, is my mindset. If you think positive you stay positive, if you think this is going to fail, it will fail, if you think negative well you get what you think.- see where this is going?

42fda8172eb2c6d21113218e525032fe I have to constantly check in with myself once those feelings arise. I self-doubt, A LOT. Any form of art, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable. You’re literally taking something that is very special to you, something that took, hours, days, months, and years to make and then you present it for the world to see and not everyone is going to like it- that you know- but you are just hoping it is received well. You hope that it was received in the light that you made it in. As a writer, everything I publish is my baby, so I’m very protective of it. I struggle with writing sometimes because I can get a bit too personal. I’m very proud of what I write, I know it helps sooo many of you. Knowing that should be enough for me to keep going right? WRONG! I began to doubt that what I have to say is not very important. But isn’t it? That’s where I have to check myself. Ok, I’m feeling self-doubt. But that’s my own fear not allowing me to be great and fear and faith can’t reside in the same place. I have to literally tell myself out loud I am more than this. I am better than this someone out there is depending on me. I check that emotion and I continue on my way. Dreading going to work? Check that emotion, if you think it will be a shitty day guess what? It will be a shitty day! Humble yourself. Do you know how many people would kill for that very job so they can have that income?! It’s all about retraining your thoughts. As soon as that thought comes in CHECK THAT SHIT!

 

 

Let’s Recap, Toast to the Halfway Mark!

I had a lot of fun with the Month of Music. Thank you again to all the artist that allowed me to interview them, I enjoyed every minute! I hope some networking came from it, you got new fans, and maybe some new opportunities.

Now that the Month of Music is over, lets get back to our regularly schedule program. With it being June-OMG the year is halfway over AHHHHH!- I’ve been looking over my goals and I can’t believe I have everything pretty much checked off! How are you guys doing with that? -If you are lost, check this out.

Can you believe that was my very first goal of the year? Lets talk about something you guys may not know. I make a lot of things sound very easy on here, but life is not as breezy as it appears.

I have had a rough start to my year. One of the worst things -or so i thought- that happened was I got laid off from my full time job. For 30 seconds after I got laid off I panicked. All these thoughts about bills, money, and what to do next flooded my head. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do.

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Meet your VIP and Event Staff for concert scenes on “Nashville”

After about 30 seconds of freaking out and praying, calmness came over me and I knew everything was going to be a
lright. It’s was going to be rocky, but it was going to be okay.

I took the time off to dive into things that were always just a dream to me. I got a wonderful opportunity to be on a popular TV show, I started my YouTube channel, and I really started to take my blogging seriously. Now all of this sounds so exciting; and it was. However, there were times when I was uncertain, scared, and completely shut down from being overwhelmed.

These first 6 months of the year were full of up and downs. A lot of downs and a lot of dwelling in the moment. Gosh, I am the queen of dwelling. I don’t know how to move on from something that truly hurt me. I’m so used to doing it, that I don’t even realize I do it.

Something Keke Palmer said-if you don’t follow her on snapchat, you are doing yourself a huge disservice- really spoke to me, she said we as human beings can reply a moment over and over again in our head, and we allow the energy of that moment, when somebody or something hurt us, to spill into other good moments, and ruin what could have been a great moment. So allow yourself to feel that bad moment for seconds, or hours, but know that only you have the power to let it go.

DeathDwellingPastStayingI never allowed myself to feel those bad moments.I never realized that I, Me and only ME, had the power to move on from that moment. I would take those moments and add them to this brick wall I was building. And every time I had a good moment I would pick out that brick that hurt me and no matter how good that moment was, I would ruin it. Self sabotaging. I would turn what could have been a beautiful moment, or what I could have turned into a positive on only focus on the negative the moment presented. Waiting for a  series of good moments to change my moo
d.

“Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”

I had a couple bad moments within the first half of the year. Every time I thought I hit rock bottom, I hit a lower floor. But after I heard those words, I allowed myself to feel that moment for however long I needed and instead of using that brick to build a wall, I used it to build my foundation. J.K Rowling said, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”.  Rather than be hurt by those moments, I’m grateful. I learned. I grew. I’m stronger.

6358791146522069822127800330_learn from the pastSo Often we are told that its our perception of a situation that defines it. If you look at it as a negative, it will be negative. If you think of it as positive it will be a positive moment. And if you look at it as a blessing, it will be a blessing. i had a lot of unexpected “negatives”, but each “negative” prepared me for the next. Had I not gone through the one before, I wouldn’t have known how to handle the next. -Blessings-
As we move into the last half of the year, lets practice changing our mind set. -Positive Vibes Only, even the so called negative ones-

I’ve been keeping to my 3 major goals- I’ve have knocked 2 off, 1 being taking my blogging seriously, 2. is well…. announcement coming soon :)- but one of my minor goals-not even sure if you could call it that so lets go with practice- is to be present in the moment. Too often I am so focused on my phone shuffling between apps that I have wasted HOURS.

So, I will be removing myself from the social media world until July and I invite anyone reading this blog to join me! Blogs are already scheduled and will still go up every Monday- so if you’re not subscribed, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???- I will return in July with what I was able to change, accomplish and learn. I may pop up in-between with my special announcement, who knows…. keep your eyes out on IG- @lilsisveebspot.

 

Until Next Time Guys!

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 don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

XOXO

 

Nina B

I wanted to end the month of music with someone I’ve known since I was just in elementary school. Ever since I can remember she’s been doing music. She’s never let “no” stop her and she straight grinds to make her dreams come true. A true definition of “never give up”! This last artist, comes straight out of Murfreesboro, Tn. Nina B has been making impacts in the music industry and is definitely one to watch out for. 

First, I know you by a different name, but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing you since I was just my brother’s annoying little sister -ha!- how did the name Nina B come to be?

Ha! Yes I remember those days, but you weren’t too annoying (just kidding!). But you know that’s a great question. When I first started rapping I used to freestyle and I had a fierce attitude when I spit. One of the older guys that hung around used to call me Nina bc he said I popped off at any given moment and won’t jam under pressure. (Just to clarify, a “Nina” is slang for a 9mm handgun) Honestly, it stuck with me thru my little “rap battles” so I decided to keep the name. The “B” can turn into plenty of meanings but we’ll keep it at Nina lol. 

 

Ok , that makes sense now! I never knew that. So, you’ve been in the music game for a long time, you’ve done a little bit of everything, but you always come back to being an artist. You have this enormous passion for music. What’s the one thing you love about music?

Wow, I can’t even put that into words! Music is a huge part of my life. I take to music to release any type of emotion towards any situation. I really think that music to me is very therapeutic and that’s the most important aspect of music in my opinion. That and the overall message of a song is key. 

 

Yes! Music has definitely lost its message to me now its all about being hot for now. Especially,with being a female artist. Speaking of being a female artist, what would you like to see change in that field of the music industry? 

Sis, I don’t think we have enough time in this interview to get my full take on this issue, but I’ll do my best to paraphrase. Honestly, I think that the issue with all females breaking into the industry is the overwhelming need to objectify the woman and the inability for men to value the likes of a woman. Along with a lack of serious artists; not these women who just want to be put out to get on. Period. What I mean is that this need to push the whole “sex sells” agenda is enabling us from our talents. Damn near every female rapper that comes out of the woodworks is nothing more than carbon copy. Either she’s trying to be Nicki [Minaj] or she’s just rapping about what’s in between her thighs rather than between her temples. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Bad Bi** anthem, but let’s be real with ourselves for once in a while. Put it this way, name one female rapper (besides Lauryn Hill) who at some point in her career didn’t have to be sexy in some type of way in order to keep themselves relevant? 

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That’s a tough one unless I can name Queen Latifa or Erikah Badu –that’s a stretch huh?-Being a female artist is already an up hill battle, its such a hard industry to break into, from your experience why do you think that is?

Well, as far as my experience, I think that it really depends on the way that you try and break into the industry. You really have to find a lane and stick to it. This is a male dominated industry so when you’re trying to break into a rap industry that feeds off objectifying women, You can’t be too hard and intimidate the guys, but you also don’t want to put yourself in a box and only rap about what every other female rapper is [rapping about]. So to put it simply, it will be easier for us to break into the industry when we are comfortable enough to accept that we don’t have to fit in with the norm. 

 

 

Ooh I like that. A lot of people don’t go in with a plan or mission, like Minaj or Latifa did. What can we look forward to seeing from you in the future?

I actually have a lot planned for the upcoming months and next year. Of course, a lot more music to come with some unexpected featured artists, and also I’m working on some visuals to put a face with the name. I’ve actually ventured out more into the entertainment field and I am working to get my label, Mizfit Muzik, up and running full force. What I’m super excited about is my clothing line, Trillions Supply Co, will be launching this summer/fall season, so definitely put a bolo (be on the look out) on that! 

 

Oh wow ok, you want your hands in everything possible, I love it! Speaking of labels and putting a face to a name, when can we expect new music, and where can we get your music?

You can expect some new music dropping from me this summer. I’m currently working on a project entitled F.A.M.E that is set to drop this summer as well. I have a single called “Supa Chronic” which is available now via Souncloud along with a group project I did with my team T$MG called “Track Meet” which is on Souncloud too. I already have my sights set on dropping my debut EP which I’ll give you more on as it develops. Until then check out some of my music at Soundcloud.com/ninabmuzik and Reverbnation.com/ninabmuzik

I ask the same question to everyone in my interviews, I’m such a big supporter of following your dreams no matter what, I think following your passion and purpose is one of the hardest, but most rewarding things you can do, what advice would you give to people who are struggling to find follow their dreams?


I would definitely tell other artists to stay true to themselves no matter what. As long as you make the music YOU want to make and hone your craft you will go far. Don’t get caught up in what you think people want to hear and just make music. These days everyone wants to make music so you have to find a way to reinvent your craft in order to stand out. Also, make sure you understand and know the music business. With that being said, I encourage all artists who are serious about their craft just stay focused on turning your dream into a reality. Success is a mindset and I’m the first one to know that life sometimes does set in at the wrong moment and makes it hard to create, but as long as you stay productive and keep your faith everything else will fall into place.

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And fall in to place it will! Huge thank you to NinaB for allowing me the pleasure to interview her! As you read she has big things coming soon so make sure to check her out!

 

Until Next Time Guys!

XOXO

Who is Pule?

This next artist, I got familiar with while he was going to school in the Middle Tennessee area. With is his debut album ‘Who Is Pule’ and the video for ‘Sho’Nuff’ that just dropped, Pule is definitely making Headlines. -Not to mention his awesome personality, this guy is effortlessly hilarious Ha!- In this interview we find out just who exactly Pule is and what he thinks about the music industry.




Your style of rap puts me in the mind frame of Kendrick Lamar, just to compare, are you often compared to other artist and what’s been the most shocking if so?

 Honestly speaking, I get compared to Kendrick Lamar a couple times a month, but often from people who don’t even know I can RAP! My last video shoot people literally ran up to me thinking I was homie.  

As far as musical comparisons I’ve been compared to everyone. I get Kendrick, Cole… I’ve gotten Kanye and Andre 3000.. I’m honored to have been compared to guys that inspire me, but anxious for the day people compare up and coming rappers to me.

The MOST shocking was TELA from Memphis, TN. I love his record “Sho’Nuff” and think it’s a classic, and off pure coincidence, ended up making my own record titled “Sho’Nuff” off my debut album Who Is Pule.

 

You have a unique story, you’re a cancer survivor, can you tell us about that experience and did having to go through that push you to really work at your music career or pursue it 100%?

I think being diagnosed with cancer was one of the most impactful experiences in my life. It allowed me to grow spiritually and it helped me recognize that this Life thing doesn’t last forever. I value and cherish time much more, because it obviously isn’t promised to anyone. I’ve always been ambitious, but it has only enhanced my drive to achieve Every single goal I have.

My mind works differently and I see things in a better perspective because I’ve endured that experience, and I thank God for his design.

 

I’m nostalgic when it comes to music especially hip hop and R&B, I miss the days of Tupac and Mary J. , Nas and Faith Evans, Biggie and the Bad boy era, what would you like to see change in music industry?

I don’t think I want to see anything change specifically, but I am aware that hip-hop has grown and much of what we valued before has diminished due to the times and the effect of social media.

So my approach is to blend what I have learned and love the most in the past music, with my most current style and knowledge to make the best music for this time in my life.

 

I hate being put in a box because I believe we can do it all, Are there other avenues within the music industry you would like to pursue?

I am a South African, Atlantan who grew up off Michael Jackson, DMX, the Temptations, and Ladysmith Black Mambazo.. And everything else. So I would be cheating myself it I didn’t expand musically. I sing my heart out on a few of my own tracks already.

Outside of artistry, I’ve always been intrigued by management as well. When the time permits and I’ve accomplished what I need to on the creative side, I may dabble in management.

 

You recently became a father, how did that affect your music, if at all?

My daughter’s timing along with God’s was impeccable. The experience was amazing, not only because she was my first, but she was born prematurely and weighed a pound and a half, so they strength that she displayed was adopted by me. She added premium fuel to me and for that I owe her everything.

 

Dreams are hard work, which is why they are not pursued; the possibility of failure outweighs the possibility of it actually working. I believe God gives you purpose for a reason. What advice would you give to those struggling with finding their purpose or following their dreams?

Great question, and personally I’m driven by the odds. I actually enjoy the adversity and challenges presented because it adds seasoning to the story. I’ve overcome so many situations that I desire the feeling of accomplishing the uncommon.

To anyone who dares to dream wholeheartedly, expect “failure” along the way, and enjoy the lessons you learn from them. You have to respect and appreciate the process in order to attain what’s next.

If you can figure out what you are sincerely passionate about, that should determine where your dreams lie.

 

Where can we hear your music and when can we expect new music?

Go to www.whoisPULE.com for everything. If you enter your email for the mailing list, I’ll send unreleased exclusive material monthly.. If anything, just use the hashtag #WhoIsPule and wherever it leads you to, you all good.

 

 

There you have it! Huge thank you to Pule for allowing me the pleasure of doing this interview. I believe we will see big things from this guy in the future, keep your eyes and ears out! Definitely check his website out WhoisPULE.com and follow the hashtag #WhoIsPule on all your social media. Also check the video out below of ‘Sho’Nuff ‘

Until Next Time Guys!!

XOXO

P.Cole

 

Coming from Maryland, now residing in Middle Tennessee, I got to meet this next artist at the start of his career. The artist and producer featured , P. Cole, has been around music his whole life. Taking influences that he has from the north mixing it with a little southern trap, P. Cole is taking the hip-hop industry to a new level.

In this interview I wanted to showcase one of his many talents, producing beats. I take you behind the scenes to catch how he produces a beat and what his take is on the hip-hop industry.  So watch the interview below  or click the link here ,to get to know the artist P.Cole.

 

 

Check out his sound cloud here:Soundcloud

For business inquiries: RealColemusic@gmail.com

 

Until Next Time Guys!

XOXO

Skyler Harris

 

Now for a change of pace, coming from Memphis, Tn, Skyler Harris has been giving us chills with her smooth and silky voice. With covers like Kiss it better, to original work like ‘In your Arms’ to remakes when Beyonce suddenly moves a concert- don’t mess with the beehive, bey- Skyler proves she got what it takes, to take this music industry by storm. I had to take the opportunity to get to know the woman behind the voice.

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First let me say you have an amazingly beautiful voice! I’m sure you’ve heard that a lot, how long have you been singing and when did you start to get serious with it?

Awww, Thanks! I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember, (as cliché as that sounds!) I wrote my very first song, ‘Crush on You (Baby Don’t You Know?)’ when I was in the second grade— and yes, I still remember every word! Recently, I decided to really invest in myself and in my music. I’m always telling other people, other women especially, “invest in yourself, girl!” Now, I’m finally doing it for myself.

 

You have to take you own advice! You have a big vocal range! With a voice like that who are your musical influences?

Oh my God! Everybody!!! Jazmine Sullivan, definitely though, just because her voice is incredibly raw and she could sing the alphabet and by the time she got to L-M-N, I’d be crying! As far as my songwriting influences, Babyface— He has the ability to write from ANY perspective and create timeless works of art every single time!

 

I’m glad you said it, your voice outs me in the mind set of Jasmine Sullivan with the runs and range that you have. You do a lot of covers, recently we’ve gotten to hear some original work, is this something you plan to do full time? Where do you see yourself in the music industry?

Every now and then, I hear a song that I absolutely love and that has more emotion than I think the production allows. I love taking songs that you usually dance to or blast without really hearing the words and slowing them down and bringing those words out— sometimes even changing the lyrics to better fit my story, as I did with Rihanna’s “Higher”. For me, it’s always about feelings. The same goes for my original music. I want you to feel something when you hear my songs. What I would like to do as far as the industry goes, is write songs. Not just sending in demos and reference tracks for someone to make a carbon copy of—but really sitting down with an artist and finding out where they are emotionally, what they want the world to hear, coming up with music and a sound based on that!

 

 

I like that interaction, you really get a sense of who the person is and what they are actually trying to achieve with their music. I feel like that art has been lost, but real singers are slowly making a comeback in the music industry, which is something I’m all here for! i love me a good ballad, I feel like its been missing for far too long. What would you like to see change within the music industry?

I’d like to see the music at the forefront. There are so many artists whose songs I’ve never heard, but I can tell you who they dated, where they shop, [and] who they are beefing with, all because of  the blogs they’ve been featured in. So many amazing artists are completely unknown because they don’t have a reality show or some type of scandal keeping them in our minds!

 

Took the words right out of my mouth! We need to get back to letting the music do the talking. You mentioned earlier that you’re always telling girls “invest in yourself girl”, which I think is so important because so often we are told what to do and these expectations are already set and sometimes our dreams and passions can be lost in trying to rise to the expectation. What advice would you give to people who are struggling to follow their dreams and passions?

Don’t think about the recognition. Your gift will always make room for you!! Whether 5 or 500 people hear you, see you, hear about you— just ensure that whatever you’re putting out is an authentic version of yourself! I struggled so hard thinking that I had to sing about what people wanted to hear, but I later realized that my heart wasn’t in it— and although people were paying attention, they weren’t being moved because I forgot that giving myself was the most important.

 

Can i get an Amen! I loved that, so many people struggle with thinking they have to be this perfect, unreal, or enhanced version of themselves and forget that nobody is really that way. In fact those that make the waves and are are remembered for the work were those that were themselves authentically. So for those that don’t know – and if you don’t you should by now!-Where can we hear your music and when can we expect new music?

I’ve mostly been focusing on pitching songs, but I have decided to release an EP this summer so definitely be on the lookout for that! Until then, you can expect more covers of some of your favorite songs on facebook, youtube, and my sound cloud.

 

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I will keep my eye on that. Im looking forward to a certain Jasmine Sullivan cover *achem*. Thank you to Skyler Harris for taking the time out to do this interview! You can find her music and new single on Youtube at http://youtube.com/skylerc2008 or on sound cloud at http://soundcloud.com/skylerharris-1 or her website at https://skylerharris.com. Also follow her on IG-@Reaching4Sky

 

 

Until next time guys!

XOXO

What About Your Friends?…

Good friends are hard to come by. Much like a good man you have to go through some rotten ones to truly appreciate the good ones. I’ve had my share of the one you grow up with and grow apart. The ones you thought you knew, but didn’t really know at all, and the absolute worst-like how did we even start a friendship???

Let me give you a few scenarios…

I’ve had best friends get their other friend a date with a dude who I had a bad break up from, that heart ache break-girl code, Heifa you TRIED it.tumblr_miwal6Pjoy1qfpilno1_500

I’ve had friends accidentally send me texts messages talking about me- gots to be more careful.

The hoe friend that every male assumes you must be a hoe too since y’all are friends and damn near sexual assaults you so you explain to your friend that it’s time to go but she wants to be a hoe so you have to find your own way home… In a strange city… That you barely know…imageswe

I’ve had friends pretend to be my friend just to make a mutual friend feel comfortable around her friends – * insert eye roll*imagesx
Then there was the friends that drop you cold turkey just quit calling, no txt, girl you messed up in someway and its to the point that I don’t even want to repair the friendship or tell you what you did wrong. Want to repair things….imagesasdf

And the ever so classic, friend that tells you no matter what, no matter who, nothing and no one will ever stop us from being friends… Then they meet someone fall in love, and their lover don’t like you and they change tunes and flip the script real quick. *New number, who this? *b43d16fa913797ee9d6775f5f87d64c7

Chile you name it I had it as a so-called friend. Keep in mind this over the course of high school through college. Friends are literally trial and error. And I always have a hard time choosing ‘em!

I always wished I was that girl with the tight click of friends, like sex and the city. A friendship takes just as much energy and time as a relationship these days. And who has time for that right?

giphyI’m a fighter for stuff I care for- a lil too caring-. If I consider you my friend, I’ll go to hell and back for you. Friendship is something I consider special and sacred. If I see a friendship dying or nasty energy around it, I try to do everything I can to save it, or end on a good note – I need that closure, but trust I can move on without it-

I’m sure right about now-if not already- you’re asking yourself “does this chick have any friends?” Why yes, yes I do!

boom tamarThe group – if your around my age it’s probably a very small group- of girls I’m lucky enough to call my friends I’m so appreciative of! I don’t have to talk to them everyday-in some cases years go by- but we can pick up right where we left off. I’m the Godmother to their children, I’m the auntie they are unaware they have-most of them are too young to realize what an aunt is lol-
I say all of this to say, it’s no easy feat to find those true friends, but it’s so worth it. And if you’re someone who found those friends without having to go thru the bad ones consider yourself BLESSED!

Comment below your “friend” story. id love to hear ’em!

Expect the best, but Prepare for the Worst.

images copy 2 Sometimes you can want something so bad, that you over think it, or over do it. I wanted this blog to be such a success that I lost sight of what I was doing it for. I began to put this strict schedule on my self that when I didn’t receive the praise I wanted I began to withdraw from it.

I begin to over analyze what I could do to change the situation. I go through different scenarios of what could happen. And I ultimately begin to get frustrated and either have a complete shut down stressed out moment or if my PMDD shows up I have panic attacks.

heroHave you ever seen the secret life of Walter Mitty? I wont give it away if you haven’t, but it’s a movie about a guy that daydreams, and ill leave it at that. Daydreaming is probably the worst thing someone who has high expectation set could do.

I always have high expectations set. No matter what I do. I build this moment up in my mind and my mind paints this wonderful picture full of all the different possibilities. Then, the event happens and it’s nothing how I planned it in my head -like I’m gone need the world to get on the script I’ve written here, it’s AMAZING – but it never works like that because, I didn’t write the script.

mWhat happens is I usually end up not enjoying the moment because it was nothing like I planned it to be in my head and my expectations are let down. And I’ve missed out on what could have been the best time of my life.

Relationships, Career choices, finances, all unreachable expectations.

Now your standards should be high for these, but you expectation should be to prepare for the worst. I, however, do the opposite, standards high, expectations high. i go in expecting this magical moment, not allowing myself to face reality.

Unknown copy 3How to lower these expectations is something I’m still figuring out. Because lets face it, your expectations can potentially ruin a very pure honest moment. I was able to lower them once by breathing through it – and possibly because I really had no idea what to expect – and it needed up being the best time I’ve ever had, and I met some pretty amazing people from it.

If you have any tips or tricks for lowering your expectations comment below and share them!

Potential is a Killer

blogger-image--617838411I am so quick to meet someone and see all the things that they can become. -I’m sure I’m not alone here- I can see this tiny light burning inside of them just waiting to get some air and really burn. I can see this fire spreading and conquering all that stands in its way. Then I am forced to see that light get dimmer and dimmer. It usually happens tragically-for me anyway-. I always try to see the best in people. And when they fail to live up to my expectation or don’t even try to be more than what they are, it diminishes my light.

With each person you surround yourself with, you tend to see a little of yourself in them. When I look at my close friends, I can see a little of myself in them. I can see all that I can be in them. Let’s be honest, you’re only as strong as your team. That’s why it’s very important to surround yourself with the right people. Your friends say a lot about the person you are and want to be.

UnknownA couple years ago, I couldn’t understand why I was losing certain friendships. I think a small part of me was changing. I would me. Something must be wrong with me if I’m losing all these friends. And something was wrong with me. Where I was headed they couldn’t come. They were holding me back from reaching what was planned for me. When I looked at them I didn’t see me anymore. They were dimming my light. No shade, it just wasn’t me anymore.

Even in relationships, I think it’s very important to see yourself in your partner, and vice versa. You guys should see that potential and each other and push each other, in a healthy way, to go harder! You guys should motivate each other to reach that potential because pushing them
essentially pushes you.

The same goes for friendships. If your team isn’t pushing you to go as hard, if not harder , than they can go, why are ya’ll friends??- I see you questioning friendships right now. And you SHOULD- coming into this new year-we are in March now why you still holding on??- if your still holding on to dead friendships or relationships that aren’t filling you up and pushing you to reach higher, then baby it’s time to reevaluate. Steve Harvey said he looks at his success as if he is pulling a wagon. -its a really good video check that out here -And in this wagon are all the things he has to take care of. And if everybody in that wagon is not helping him pull that wagon up that hill in some way, then somebody in that wagon has got to go!

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So I ask you, is your wagon heavy or is it moving along swiftly??

P.s check out the last video here-Distraction

Distractions

blogger-image-2067635397So many times we have a goal in mind. We can envision it. We can put ourselves at the finish line. It’s so close that all of our senses tingle as if it’s already happened. Most of us can reach out and touch it. The latter, like me, get distracted. Distraction or rather procrastination plays a huge roll in why we can’t accomplish even the smallest task. I’m so guilty of this! I battle myself on timing all the time! I question if I should do something now or wait? Should I do this first and finish that then do it. I question it so much, it never gets done. Now I don’t know if this is fear that it won’t work anyway so why bother or if it’s much deeper than that- still working on it- or if it simply just time.

My mother always tells me, don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. But she has always been so eye on the prize let’s get this done. I’ve always been lazy. If it could get done tomorrow, if it didn’t need to get done immediately, then I would push it off till the last possible minute! But I do have to admit I work well under pressure. I would wait until the night before and sometimes the day of, to do a paper and I would get an A on it. I get my best ideas from procrastinating.

hey-i-found-your-noseI totally went on a tangent, but I said all that to get to the biggest distraction of them all, social media. Oh yes. Instagram, snapchat, Facebook… We are so enthused about what other people are doing we forget to put the phone down and enjoy our own lives. I fall victim to this constantly- mainly because social media will let you know news before the news will, I mean I found out THE Michael Jackson died before it came across any news station, all from a tweet! Now I do enjoy looking other people’s messes to take my mind off my own- I mean who don’t, don’t act like y’all guilty pleasure wasn’t love and hip hop at some point!- but at some point I have to put my phone down and actually deal with what’s going on- easier said than done-

giphyI love social media for the positives that came from it. Like discovering actually talent, promotion, awareness, connection with people you would have never met otherwise. But I also despise it for what it’s done to society, a disconnect at real conversation, a need to update people about your life minute by minute just to stay “relevant”, unsolicited opinions- the worst!Maybe we will move into a new age where people will start to feel nostalgic and integrate those things back in. With technology moving so fast one can wonder. I can only vow to myself to take a step back. And hopefully this blog may encourage a few too. Now I’m not going cold turkey. But it is ok if you miss a few things it’s not ok to miss out on your life, trying to see what everyone else is doing with theirs.

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P.s- check out my latest video here-The Blacker The Berry...

P.s.s- the video for this blog will be out on Friday, but its going to tie in with a high requested deeper look at my previous video make sure you check that out!Its Not You Its Me: Tips and Tricks for 2016

P.s.s.s -video for this blog is liveeeee Distractions