Expect the best, but Prepare for the Worst.

images copy 2 Sometimes you can want something so bad, that you over think it, or over do it. I wanted this blog to be such a success that I lost sight of what I was doing it for. I began to put this strict schedule on my self that when I didn’t receive the praise I wanted I began to withdraw from it.

I begin to over analyze what I could do to change the situation. I go through different scenarios of what could happen. And I ultimately begin to get frustrated and either have a complete shut down stressed out moment or if my PMDD shows up I have panic attacks.

heroHave you ever seen the secret life of Walter Mitty? I wont give it away if you haven’t, but it’s a movie about a guy that daydreams, and ill leave it at that. Daydreaming is probably the worst thing someone who has high expectation set could do.

I always have high expectations set. No matter what I do. I build this moment up in my mind and my mind paints this wonderful picture full of all the different possibilities. Then, the event happens and it’s nothing how I planned it in my head -like I’m gone need the world to get on the script I’ve written here, it’s AMAZING – but it never works like that because, I didn’t write the script.

mWhat happens is I usually end up not enjoying the moment because it was nothing like I planned it to be in my head and my expectations are let down. And I’ve missed out on what could have been the best time of my life.

Relationships, Career choices, finances, all unreachable expectations.

Now your standards should be high for these, but you expectation should be to prepare for the worst. I, however, do the opposite, standards high, expectations high. i go in expecting this magical moment, not allowing myself to face reality.

Unknown copy 3How to lower these expectations is something I’m still figuring out. Because lets face it, your expectations can potentially ruin a very pure honest moment. I was able to lower them once by breathing through it – and possibly because I really had no idea what to expect – and it needed up being the best time I’ve ever had, and I met some pretty amazing people from it.

If you have any tips or tricks for lowering your expectations comment below and share them!

Who Do You Love?

Valentines-Day-Chuck  As a single person with friends, married and in relationships, it looks as though it’s a long road. You begin to get questions such as when are you getting a man? You’re too pretty to be single? You must be lonely? And you even begin to question yourself, what’s wrong with me? I wish I had somebody to go here, why can’t I find a decent man? I too put myself in this boat.

pk3h2GdElEexThen something strange happened. I began to take the focus off of finding a man and put the focus on me. I began to find out who I was, what I wanted, and what made me happy.

What I eventually learned was that I like being single! -say what?- you read that right! I like having my space. I enjoy my peace and quiet. I like time to myself. I like getting to discover who I am and what I like and don’t like.

Don’t get me wrong every now and again it’s nice to experience those things with another. But I’m so invested in myself and the life I’m creating for me that it’s going to take someone pretty amazing to distract, attract me. I’m young and God willing I’ll live a long life and be able to experience that with the one God blesses me with, but for now I’m having fun. I’m investing in myself. And I must say I’m loving every minute of it!blogger-image-1106284924

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Flaws and All

flawsDisclaimer– I run a very open honest blog. This is what I consider a no judgment zone blog ( is there even such a thing these day YES!) the subject in this blog is very touchy for me so if you feel like y   our going to judge either exit stage left, or keep your negative opinions to yourself.

As the title suggest, I will be talking about flaws, or what is considered a flaw. In today’s society we put a huge amount of pressure on celebrity’s to look a certain way. In actuality, we put this pressure dfbon everyone, myself included. I find myself taking a million selfies just to get the perfect picture and even that picture gets some editing. Often times when a picture is snapped of me, I hate the outcome. I don’t consider myself ugly-everybody should think of himself or herself as the most beautiful person in the world-but I do believe in bad pictures or angles.

blogger-image-69863838Why do we put this pressure to look a certain way that can often be way different from what we actually look like? Or why are we so embarrassed about what we consider physical flaws that we become obsessed in hiding them? For example, (and I can only speak for myself and what I consider my flaws to be) I have facial hair like nobody’s business – I could probably grow a beard faster than my brother lol- ok its not that bad, but still. It has become such a hindrance (because tweezing the hair leaves behind dark spots) for me that I have become accustomed to different methods to get rid of it. Although I am looking into more permanent solutions, for now before I take a picture I find myself making the perfect pose to hide my scars -which are mostly on my neck-. Or let’s say it’s a body issue, I struggle with my weight, mostly because I’m a stress eater and a bottomless pit around that time of the month -sorry fellas- here lately I’ve gained more weight than usual and although it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be, I still find myself wearing spanx or a corset to smooth it out. Muffin top is a no-no boo boo
get-your-life-copyWe as women put so much pressure on ourselves and for what? The things we considered imperfect, a man doesn’t even notice. And we as woman are so hard on other women. We will pick each other apart as if we were dipped in gold ourselves. The most beautiful picture on Instagram will have something wrong with it to somebody. So again I ask, why are we killing ourselves for the opinion of another that we will never be perfect for?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Today I say stop being so hard on ones self about the standard of beauty. You set your standard. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So I urge you in this post to spread positivity! Give compliments not criticize. We ladies have it hard enough as it is. So live in your flaws! Let it fly free! ROCK THE HELL OUT THAT SHIT!blogger-image--617808458