Chapter 28: Be Open

CaptureIt’s my birthday! A year of growth behind me and a new year of learning experiences ahead of me! I’m so excited to go in this journey. I always thought 28 was my mystical magical number. When I was younger it was the number I said I would keep forever whenever I was asked my age-true story– I feel like at 28 you know yourself now more than ever in your 20s. –Let me explain– in my experience my 20s have been nothing but one learning lesson after the other. It has been a struggllllleeee girl! I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know what I wanted to be or do, I felt like for the most part, my 20s was this big black hole of not knowing. Add to that making huge mistakes and having to learn to deal with them. My 20s was pretty much like just figure it out. I wouldn’t change any of it though because everything led to this beautiful point: self awareness.grow-up

What a beautiful thing it is to actually know one’s self, to be confident in who you are, to proudly say this is who I am, like it or leave it I really don’t care either way! I know what I want to accomplish-might not know how to get there but at least I have purpose, right? – I know what I will and won’t accept from life, I just know! Boom that’s it. For so long it felt like I was walking through a dark hallway, no direction just literally figuring it out as it came to me- it’s a horrible feeling, but maybe it’s necessary-

“Rock Bottom is the solid Foundation on which I Built my life.”

qrE4K
Shit just got real

25 was a rock bottom year, I spoke about this in a past blog, but never really felt comfortable talking about everything I was going through.-however if you’re a loyal reader, then you know I was in a dark place-. I suffered the loss of a pregnancy, the loss of a friendship that I loved dearly, and the loss of financial freedom by having to file bankruptcy. 25 was hard,  a lot of pain and tears. Most days were a struggle to make it out of the bed, but thank God for family.

giphy (1)26 was a faking it till you make it year. 26 I literally picked myself up and started to figure it out. I made affirmations and goals. I planned for things I wanted to accomplish, I found my purpose. 26 seemed to go by very quickly. It was definitely a transition year.

27 was letting it all go and working on a foundation again. 27 taught me a lot of things. I call 27 my year of rebuilding. Now that I knew my purpose I began to work really hard at it and made strides. I also really began to understand myself. I feel like before 25 I had this idea of who I was, but I didn’t really know or to be clearer I had this idea of how I wanted the world to perceive me but I didn’t really know who I was. I feel like everything that happened after 25 got me to this point of knowing who I am, what hurts me, what angers me, what energy I wanted to entertain, and what kind of man I desire to have in my life.

Now that I’m moving closer to my 30s, I feel like I’m moving toward my best life. So often I hear people say that your 30s are the best time of your life and I’m inclined to believe them simply based of the feeling I have about moving into 28. I can see the light appearing in the tunnel getting brighter. It’s not full rainbows and sunshine but it’s not all darkness anymore either.

Capture1

I always give my birthday a theme. Be Open.

I watched a movie called ‘Love by the 10th date’. It was one of those lifetime movies where its cheesy and predictable, but it got me to look into my own life and I realized that I’m very open minded but I’m not a very open person. If something doesn’t appear how I think it should or doesn’t meet my expectations, initially, I shut it down. I’m especially bad at this when it comes to relationships, or just getting to know someone. I don’t know how to just have fun and enjoy the ride. I’m either all the way turned off or all the way ready to jump in-I hate being in the gray! Watching this movie I had an “ah ha” moment –hell typing this paragraph I had an “ah ha” moment- this is all a self defense mechanism. Rather than letting myself experience it, I try to figure out a way to protect myself before it can even go wrong by finding something wrong- and chile that’s just not living! – Or I get incredibly invested way too soon and scare the person away- in my defense though it’s incredibly rare if you can actually get me to like you!-

I’m not just applying this to my dating life, but in all aspects. I want to be open to all this beautiful universe has to offer me. Positive vibes only though!

tenor

 

What are some things you find yourself closed off to? What o you feel you could be more open to? Let’s talk in the comments below!

Until time!

XOXO

 

Is Fear Driving You?

Hey there! If you’re new to the blog, Welcome! If you are returning because you just can’t get enough, I’m sure you have noticed some major changes. Initially, when I started this blog, I did it for the love of writing and sharing my thoughts because I wanted to make connections and hopefully what I was sharing was reaching someone and it helped- that’s what life is about right?- but I found myself holding back and not being as transparent as I wanted to be. I also didn’t like my house (blog site) it needed a major facelift and feel more like me- which was really important to me if I was going to take this huge leap with being more transparent, I had to feel comfortable in my space.

It was because of those reasons above that I hit a block. I wasn’t motivated to write anymore. So, I started this long process of really investing in myself.Aristotle-quote.3

I was also in a place in my life where I thought I knew who I was and everything changed, evolved, if you will. I could always see this spark inside me just waiting to burn brighter, but I wasn’t sure how to unlock it. I’ve been taking acting classes –which I recommend to anyone even if you don’t aspire to act, it’s seriously like a class on just being the best version of yourself–  it’s really helped me learn more about myself and my emotions. I saw that spark starting to grow into a fire. Now, acting is a passion of mine so this could be me feeding my passion, but once this spark started growing all these ideas started flowing in my head. So much so that I had to start carrying around a note book to keep up with them!

I always had a pretty good idea of who I was just from the perception other people had put on me, but was that who I really was? I also felt like I was pouring all these emotions out, but I was empty. And I couldn’t give what I really wanted to because I was very empty. Not saying that anything I was doing was inauthentic, but it was just the surface.

At job interviews, there’s always that one question they ask, where do you see yourself in 5 years? I would always give some bullshit answer because I needed the job. While going through this growth, I went on a job interview and was asked that exact question; I started to give my prepared, generic, best basic answer, and realized this is not what I want to do.  Even in my daily job, I began to see this is not where I see myself retiring. I realized I had a very clear vision of the life I wanted and I was deliberately avoiding it. Which is funny because the thing that made me happy was hard so I avoided it, but the thing that was bringing me misery I was doing every day and complaining about it

C7S0ouqVAAANACj
– like oh no baby what is you doing?!?!-

I always thought if you were living in your purpose and doing what you were called to do it would come naturally and be easy. Everything would make sense, doors would open, and it would be like why haven’t you been doing this all along?! WRONG! I have said in previous blogs that I had a very crystal clear vision of what my purpose was and I took steps to walk in that purpose. When I initially started walking in my purpose I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, I was super uncomfortable, and I felt like I was in way over my head. Nothing was coming easy, not all doors opened and everything felt so unnatural. I struggled A LOT and my self doubt kicked in to overdrive. So much so that I thought about quitting. I thought I’m not cut out for this, maybe this isn’t what I should be doing. The moment I thought about giving up I was overwhelmed with tears and I was depressed.  My mother told me, if that could make me this upset I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. God- or whatever/whoever you believe in– will test you, he will shake the ground, make it steady, then test you again. It’s up to you how you want to take the test. Oh the irony of this conversation! Earlier that day, I had a very open conversation with my coach. She also told me that the universe – or God– is trying to push me in a direction that I’m trying my damnedness to ignore because its difficult and hard and I don’t want to do the work. But she also told me that I had a lot of potential and that if I do the work I would be the person I’m so desperately trying to avoid.

Why do we avoid becoming who we are destined to be? That’s the story line for every great character right? They spend the whole movie avoiding their destiny and when they finally tap into it the world opens in ways they couldn’t have possibly imagined. If the end is going to turn out that way every time, why do we do our damnedness to avoid it? Maybe because we feel we are inadequate? Maybe because we don’t really believe in who we are? Maybe because somewhere along the way the world told us we weren’t special enough. Whatever the case may be, it’s time to change our way of thinking!

70c83a1a6f66afabdb5d77adbe128445

So guys this it me. Unapologetically me, promising not let your perception be my reality, and to be my best authentic self every day.  Promising to change the way I view myself and start believing more in me,- because I’m a pretty awesome person. Promising to not let the negativity of the world into my soul and tear me down, or tell me what I should or shouldn’t be, or how I should or shouldn’t act, or control who I am and what I believe. I will be still in my moments and have joy every day. This isn’t a new me, this is just a version of me without fear driving the bus!

So is fear driving your bus and if so, are your ready to take the wheel?

Until next time guys!

XOXO,

LilSis

World Stop! Carry on..

I am an introvert at heart. I enjoy having fun and being social, but as much fun as that is, it’s also draining. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy being in my own world with my quirky little habits. I enjoy dancing around my house in my underwear singing at the top of my lungs eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
failed-resolutions-resized-600When this past year started, I had so many goals I wanted to accomplish. I’m usually the person that makes New Year’s Resolutions, but a month into the New Year; I completely blank on or forgot about those resolutions. –I have been trying to lose 30 pounds for 3 years -_-. Going into 2016 I really want to check some stuff off my list and I did, but once my list was getting checked off it only made me want to add more. This is where the balancing act came into play.

Balance.
Life is like a game of juggle sometimes. You juggle your needs, wants, career, and sometimes the curve ball life throws at you. You can become so focused on the game that you begin to lose sight of life and being in the moment. You become so focused on the act of juggling, that it’s routine. The game isn’t fun anymore, and now your body has the anigif_enhanced-buzz-21476-1427232414-14instinct and naturally knows how to juggle. So much so, that you can juggle with your eyes closed. The fun is now replaced with stress. Your arms are getting heavy, but you are focused. You are not going to let any of the balls drop. Your eyes are weary. Your body is giving out, but you are so determined to complete your task you ignore the signs. Until one day, you drop a ball. And like a snowball effect, all the balls fall. Your body has reached its limit. And you’re out the game. Mentally drained and physically exhausted.

Relaxation.

I had to take a step back. Mentally and physically I had no choice. I’m used to working 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. I’m used to never pursuing things I want for myself. I changed that in 2016. I explored hobbies, I found my purpose, and I pursued my dreams, all while maintaining 2 jobs 64+ hour work week, 7 days a week. –talk about juggling! One morning I woke up, and physically could not move, work was not an option. I went to the doctor for her to tell me I was exhausted and I had a few vitamin deficiency and she gave me a mandatory 2 days off- which doesn’t seem like much, but it was very much needed to someone who only gets holidays off-

Thank God for friends. I took a trip to my friend’s lake house and got some much needed relaxation. While there in the middle of nowhere I found a little bit of restoration and rejuvenation.

Realization.

bossWe as individuals can be so hard on ourselves. Something inside me wanted to achieve so bad, which can sometimes be a good thing, but at what cost? I compare myself to my role models, people I aspire to become. If they can do it, what’s stopping me? I live by “You have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé. Get shit done.” Not a bad motto when you are Beyoncé and you have a team of people helping you to achieve your goals and dreams. I’m just one person. The actor, the cameraman, the editor, and the news reporter on my own story.

 

Re-invention.

7408e98bb9a3427e2cc6a218958dbfa8Going into this new year, let’s change up the way we do things –New Year, new me, who dis?- I had the concept right last year,3 goals, break those goals down into months, then weeks, then days. Work on them each little by little until the goal is complete.-I even made a video about it, see below or click ⇒ here – Sounds logical right? Until life happens and then what goals? Implementation is key right? Creating the goal and starting the goal is the easy part, actually following through and completing the goal that’s a completely different ball game- that I haven’t even made the team for, OK!-One of the things I find that hinders myself from completing the goal, is my mindset. If you think positive you stay positive, if you think this is going to fail, it will fail, if you think negative well you get what you think.- see where this is going?

42fda8172eb2c6d21113218e525032fe I have to constantly check in with myself once those feelings arise. I self-doubt, A LOT. Any form of art, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable. You’re literally taking something that is very special to you, something that took, hours, days, months, and years to make and then you present it for the world to see and not everyone is going to like it- that you know- but you are just hoping it is received well. You hope that it was received in the light that you made it in. As a writer, everything I publish is my baby, so I’m very protective of it. I struggle with writing sometimes because I can get a bit too personal. I’m very proud of what I write, I know it helps sooo many of you. Knowing that should be enough for me to keep going right? WRONG! I began to doubt that what I have to say is not very important. But isn’t it? That’s where I have to check myself. Ok, I’m feeling self-doubt. But that’s my own fear not allowing me to be great and fear and faith can’t reside in the same place. I have to literally tell myself out loud I am more than this. I am better than this someone out there is depending on me. I check that emotion and I continue on my way. Dreading going to work? Check that emotion, if you think it will be a shitty day guess what? It will be a shitty day! Humble yourself. Do you know how many people would kill for that very job so they can have that income?! It’s all about retraining your thoughts. As soon as that thought comes in CHECK THAT SHIT!

 

 

Let’s Recap, Toast to the Halfway Mark!

I had a lot of fun with the Month of Music. Thank you again to all the artist that allowed me to interview them, I enjoyed every minute! I hope some networking came from it, you got new fans, and maybe some new opportunities.

Now that the Month of Music is over, lets get back to our regularly schedule program. With it being June-OMG the year is halfway over AHHHHH!- I’ve been looking over my goals and I can’t believe I have everything pretty much checked off! How are you guys doing with that? -If you are lost, check this out.

Can you believe that was my very first goal of the year? Lets talk about something you guys may not know. I make a lot of things sound very easy on here, but life is not as breezy as it appears.

I have had a rough start to my year. One of the worst things -or so i thought- that happened was I got laid off from my full time job. For 30 seconds after I got laid off I panicked. All these thoughts about bills, money, and what to do next flooded my head. For the first time in a long time, I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do.

IMG_4071
Meet your VIP and Event Staff for concert scenes on “Nashville”

After about 30 seconds of freaking out and praying, calmness came over me and I knew everything was going to be a
lright. It’s was going to be rocky, but it was going to be okay.

I took the time off to dive into things that were always just a dream to me. I got a wonderful opportunity to be on a popular TV show, I started my YouTube channel, and I really started to take my blogging seriously. Now all of this sounds so exciting; and it was. However, there were times when I was uncertain, scared, and completely shut down from being overwhelmed.

These first 6 months of the year were full of up and downs. A lot of downs and a lot of dwelling in the moment. Gosh, I am the queen of dwelling. I don’t know how to move on from something that truly hurt me. I’m so used to doing it, that I don’t even realize I do it.

Something Keke Palmer said-if you don’t follow her on snapchat, you are doing yourself a huge disservice- really spoke to me, she said we as human beings can reply a moment over and over again in our head, and we allow the energy of that moment, when somebody or something hurt us, to spill into other good moments, and ruin what could have been a great moment. So allow yourself to feel that bad moment for seconds, or hours, but know that only you have the power to let it go.

DeathDwellingPastStayingI never allowed myself to feel those bad moments.I never realized that I, Me and only ME, had the power to move on from that moment. I would take those moments and add them to this brick wall I was building. And every time I had a good moment I would pick out that brick that hurt me and no matter how good that moment was, I would ruin it. Self sabotaging. I would turn what could have been a beautiful moment, or what I could have turned into a positive on only focus on the negative the moment presented. Waiting for a  series of good moments to change my moo
d.

“Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”

I had a couple bad moments within the first half of the year. Every time I thought I hit rock bottom, I hit a lower floor. But after I heard those words, I allowed myself to feel that moment for however long I needed and instead of using that brick to build a wall, I used it to build my foundation. J.K Rowling said, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life”.  Rather than be hurt by those moments, I’m grateful. I learned. I grew. I’m stronger.

6358791146522069822127800330_learn from the pastSo Often we are told that its our perception of a situation that defines it. If you look at it as a negative, it will be negative. If you think of it as positive it will be a positive moment. And if you look at it as a blessing, it will be a blessing. i had a lot of unexpected “negatives”, but each “negative” prepared me for the next. Had I not gone through the one before, I wouldn’t have known how to handle the next. -Blessings-
As we move into the last half of the year, lets practice changing our mind set. -Positive Vibes Only, even the so called negative ones-

I’ve been keeping to my 3 major goals- I’ve have knocked 2 off, 1 being taking my blogging seriously, 2. is well…. announcement coming soon :)- but one of my minor goals-not even sure if you could call it that so lets go with practice- is to be present in the moment. Too often I am so focused on my phone shuffling between apps that I have wasted HOURS.

So, I will be removing myself from the social media world until July and I invite anyone reading this blog to join me! Blogs are already scheduled and will still go up every Monday- so if you’re not subscribed, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???- I will return in July with what I was able to change, accomplish and learn. I may pop up in-between with my special announcement, who knows…. keep your eyes out on IG- @lilsisveebspot.

 

Until Next Time Guys!

Like-Comment- Share

 don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

XOXO

 

MissMamaQueen

img_4813

First up in my month of music, is MissMamaQueen who hails from Murfreesboro, TN. Starting her rap career as a Femcee at just 13 years old, MissMamaQueen has taken the femcee game by storm. MissMamaQueen has had a long and successful career with around a million in ringtone downloads, being on stage with Femcee Shawnna, and recently adding author to her resume with the book ‘Many Men’, MissMamaQueen has shown me, and others, that there’s nothing a woman can’t do.

 

You’ve had an amazing career in the hip hop music industry, being able to meet and rap with huge names within the female rap industry, who are your musical influences?

-Of course I have my favorite artist that I love to listen to such as Monica, Beyonce, Whitney, Eve, Shawnna, Lil’ Mo, and others, but they don’t have direct influence on my own music. What I can say, is the artist that I have grown into is the sound of Missy in  90’s. It’s that mixture of Hip-Hop, Rap, Love stories, and ballads. When I first got into music, I did find myself channeling Eve and Mia X, as I was trying to figure out my direction and lane. Being able to perform with Shawnna, and have one on one, heart to hearts about the music industry and being a woman in the industry, was definitely an eye opener for me. I tell her all the time; she taught me so much, specifically the importance of being a woman in the game and standing on your own. The last couple of years, I have found myself being comfortable with creating my own sound, following what my heart says, and not being influenced by what else is going on around the music scene.

Since you’ve been in the game for so long, where do you see your musical career going?

– I honestly have never looked at music as a career. Music has been a part of my life for almost 15 years now. To me music is an outlet and a talent that I have, that I share with the world. I record music all the time, without even releasing it. I know people say it all the time, but it really is a form a therapy for me. A lot of things I bottle up, but then go make a song about it. At the end of the day, regardless of how it plays out, I just want to be able to say I told my story, and people listened. Also, I believe 1000% in God aligning things and situations. I believe it’s going the way God sees fit.

I definitely understand that, blogging for me is the therapy that music is for you. You’re in an industry where it’s already stacked against you being a female rapper, what has been your experience with why it’s so hard to be a female MC?

-I think females make it harder for each other more than anything. You have females sleeping with the producers, engineers, and managers. You have females that don’t want to see another female shine, or they link/click up with who boosts their presence. Also you have females that are intimidated and offended by another woman’s confidence or willingness to stand-alone. I have always been the outsider especially locally. I’m not in to the fake networking and ‘buddy buddy’ system. I have rarely found genuine bonds. I see a lot of chasing other’s fan base. At this point, I don’t think it’s hard to be a female MC. I think it’s hard for women to respect themselves and step outside the local mentality and outside the box. When we realize that there’s more to it than rapping about how good your vagina or head is, or how many b**ches you will slap, it will makes sense. Although it shouldn’t be, I have noticed it’s hard for women to be real and 100 to themselves and the music.

  

I like that you stand by your morals and you don’t compromise yourself. You kind of touch on this with your song ‘Beautiful You’, its probably one of my favorite songs,-aside from ‘Imma Go Hard’- because I relate the most to it being that I never felt beautiful in my chocolate skin until recently, and it sends a positive message about self love and embracing your flaws, what inspired that song?

-‘Beautiful You’ has [got to be] the most genuine feedback from any song that I have ever wrote, from women and men all across the world. It’s one of my favorite and most personal songs. Anyone that has been in the studio with me knows that either I absolutely love a record or I don’t, from the moment the beat is played. A majority of the time, once I hear the first bars of the beat, I already have the title of the record or at least a theme. Every once in a while, I will hear a beat and get [a chill], that’s when I know it’s special. ‘Beautiful You’ was one of those times. My producer looked at me crazy because he had gotten on to me about doing so many slow ballads for the album. The first thing that came out was, “Beautiful You, Beautiful You, You’re Beautiful.”

How many times have we heard, “She aint no Beyonce, but she straight!” Society has told us what beautiful should look like.

If she’s dark skinned, she better have a nice body.

If she’s light skinned, she better have nice hair and pretty eyes.

If she’s heavy set, she has to have a cute face.

If she’s skinny, she has to have a big butt.

The inspiration for me was, “Wanting to inspire myself.” It’s okay to hear a man tell you “You are beautiful!” It feels good when you post a picture and people say, “You’re beautiful!”

However, you are the only one in the mirror in the morning and at night in those raw and rare form moments. How beautiful can you really be, if you can’t honestly tell yourself that you are?

 

You took the words right out of my mouth. I preach this every chance I get because it’s so important to have that self-love. With my blog I push for people to follow their dreams and find their purpose. I feel like many people give up on that dream, because it’s not an easy road, its hard work! What advice would you give to people- especially female MC-who are struggling to follow their passion?

-My biggest motto to live by is, “If it doesn’t feel right. It’s not right.” Remember, once you say something on record, it’s out there forever. Do not listen to the radio. Write and speak from your heart. No matter how twisted your life or situation is, there is someone out there who will relate. Your story is your story for a reason. Inspire yourself to inspire others. The road isn’t easy, and if it is there will be hell on the other side.

 

I’ve peeped that you’ve been in the studio lately, when can we expect some new music and where can the people who aren’t familiar with you, checkout your music?

-My album is in the production process and anyone who has done an album will tell you it’s the most frustrating and drawn out process you will ever see. I have no release date at this time. I want to make sure it’s done 100% before I set any expectations for myself or for my fans. This will be my first full production album, so I really want to take my time and go down the correct channels. We are looking to have it available on iTunes, Amazon, Google Store, etc. ‘Beautiful You’ is the only full record we have released so far. In the works of revamping my official fan site, but until then I have music on www.Reverbnation.com/MissMamaQueen . I’m in the building stages of getting a video together for ‘Beautiful You’, but it has to be perfect with a story line, so that’s something I’m working on now as well.

 

img_4819Well I for one cannot not wait to hear it! Just for fun, Its no secret that you are a Monica and Beyonce/destiny child fan, but you have to pick just one, who will it be?

-OMG. This isn’t fair at all! I would say Monica! I have had the opportunity to meet her and talk with her, and she’s just amazing all around. I relate so much with her personal story, life tragedies, and triumphs. She is so humble, and to me the underdog, but legend of the R&B world. She is comfortable with what she has meant to the music game, even if they never put her on the Whitney or Bey platform. She knows her crowd and who she inspires. If you have ever seen her perform live, you can see her genuine love for what she does. Yessss Monica! LOL.

 

I would’ve chosen Monica Too! A huge thank you to MissMamaQueen for allowing me the pleasure to interview her! I was very inspired and motivated. I love interviews where I can learn something in the process and this was definitely that for me. Click the link here to check out her music and check out the video below of what’s to come!

Until Next Time Guys!

XOXO

Expect the best, but Prepare for the Worst.

images copy 2 Sometimes you can want something so bad, that you over think it, or over do it. I wanted this blog to be such a success that I lost sight of what I was doing it for. I began to put this strict schedule on my self that when I didn’t receive the praise I wanted I began to withdraw from it.

I begin to over analyze what I could do to change the situation. I go through different scenarios of what could happen. And I ultimately begin to get frustrated and either have a complete shut down stressed out moment or if my PMDD shows up I have panic attacks.

heroHave you ever seen the secret life of Walter Mitty? I wont give it away if you haven’t, but it’s a movie about a guy that daydreams, and ill leave it at that. Daydreaming is probably the worst thing someone who has high expectation set could do.

I always have high expectations set. No matter what I do. I build this moment up in my mind and my mind paints this wonderful picture full of all the different possibilities. Then, the event happens and it’s nothing how I planned it in my head -like I’m gone need the world to get on the script I’ve written here, it’s AMAZING – but it never works like that because, I didn’t write the script.

mWhat happens is I usually end up not enjoying the moment because it was nothing like I planned it to be in my head and my expectations are let down. And I’ve missed out on what could have been the best time of my life.

Relationships, Career choices, finances, all unreachable expectations.

Now your standards should be high for these, but you expectation should be to prepare for the worst. I, however, do the opposite, standards high, expectations high. i go in expecting this magical moment, not allowing myself to face reality.

Unknown copy 3How to lower these expectations is something I’m still figuring out. Because lets face it, your expectations can potentially ruin a very pure honest moment. I was able to lower them once by breathing through it – and possibly because I really had no idea what to expect – and it needed up being the best time I’ve ever had, and I met some pretty amazing people from it.

If you have any tips or tricks for lowering your expectations comment below and share them!

The Downside to Social Media

Now, as a blogger I realize these are just my views or take a different scenarios and situations. I mostly speak from my experiences on what I talk about. However, with certain social media outlets, I’ve noticed a trend that has become rampant : my way or the highway.
tumblr_n2wfrysPoE1rfduvxo1_500People will call you everything, but a child of God, for simply disagreeing with their view point. I was watching a clip of in interview with David Bowie and Mark Goodman where Bowie was questioning why there was no black music being played on MTV. Something Goodman said really resonated with me. “It’s not like it was in 67, when you could go ‘I’m not into that,but you are? Ok yea,but now it’s you’re into that? Well I don’t like you”. And that’s exactly how the world is today. There’s no agree to disagree. If you openly agree with something big or small you are crucified for it.

68536_oWhere did this logic come from? Are they no longer teaching argumentative in English class??? Do we not have debate teams anymore?? Why are we getting so sensitive about it? Disagreements can be healthy. It can give you a different view point. It fuels the imagination. It may often spark a solution. If everybody thought the same, as a civilization we would be nowhere. Maybe, if we stopped and slowed down and listened to understand rather than listened to reply we’d be a little less ignorant and a lot further along -ye shrug-
giving-away-too-much-knowledgeEspecially on social media. Did such an open platform to express one’s self become a weapon for the tongue (or keyboard)? Its really quite sad at how much people believe simply based on it being on the internet. And God forbid you try to correct someone who desperately wants to believe the false advertisement is true. don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing the internet, its very helpful if you take the time to decipher whats real and whats fake. However, you have to wonder with the information being so readily available did it makes us lazier as a society?

Don’t forget to subscribe-like-comment-and SHARE!

Check out the latest video!
Who Do You Love?

Who Do You Love?

Valentines-Day-Chuck  As a single person with friends, married and in relationships, it looks as though it’s a long road. You begin to get questions such as when are you getting a man? You’re too pretty to be single? You must be lonely? And you even begin to question yourself, what’s wrong with me? I wish I had somebody to go here, why can’t I find a decent man? I too put myself in this boat.

pk3h2GdElEexThen something strange happened. I began to take the focus off of finding a man and put the focus on me. I began to find out who I was, what I wanted, and what made me happy.

What I eventually learned was that I like being single! -say what?- you read that right! I like having my space. I enjoy my peace and quiet. I like time to myself. I like getting to discover who I am and what I like and don’t like.

Don’t get me wrong every now and again it’s nice to experience those things with another. But I’m so invested in myself and the life I’m creating for me that it’s going to take someone pretty amazing to distract, attract me. I’m young and God willing I’ll live a long life and be able to experience that with the one God blesses me with, but for now I’m having fun. I’m investing in myself. And I must say I’m loving every minute of it!blogger-image-1106284924

Watch the latest video here:
Disclaimer

LIKE-COMMENT-SHARE
And don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!!

Disclaimer

image When I write my blogs I speak my truth. At the end of it all we just want to be in our truth and accepted. The problem with this concept is not every one will accept or understand your truth. I can only speak on my experiences and what I’ve learned from them and hope that someone reads them and sees a different perspective or knows that someone out there went through the same thing and they are not alone. I never write to be malicious or petty, if that’s what you take away from my blog, then the problem is the reader- sorry to be so blunt-.

When you read my blogs, I want you to open your mind. Not everything is black, not everything is white; it’s a contrast of shades in-between. I wan
t to strike a positive conversation. With social media being as popular as it is and people giving their negative opinions, I want a place where we can have a positive conversation. Spark inspiration, not negativity.

tumblr_miwal6Pjoy1qfpilno1_500I say this because before, I got my toes wet to see what the response would be. Some people took it wayyyy to serious. Others gave me positive feedback. I got a little discouraged just from the sensitive people’s feedback I got, but it goes back to I’m not doing this for you. This is for me. This is the space I come to, to sip my tea and live my truth. This is the space that I come to, to let it all out. This is the space I come to, to share my life experiences. And during all that, in the process I’m hoping you laugh, you cry, you sympathize, you learn, you get your life and sip your tea. Not everybody is going to do that, I understand. People who know the specific experience may feel like I’m talking to them or about them and take it personally –don’t flatter yourself boo boo simmer down, this is not about you!

Going forward it’s going to get a lot more personal. I’ve withheld talking about a lot simply because I wasn’t doing it for me. So I hope you guys are ready for this wonderful ride we are about to take in this New Year!

blogger-image-186315003P.s- I will now be uploading videos every Friday following the blog that goes live on Mondays be sure to check them out!

Here’s the link to the latest video
Tips and Tricks for Accomplishing Your Goals

Done forget to like-share-comment
And subscribe for the latest content!!

What’s Stopping You?

8-1-1One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone continually talks about something that they want to do, and never puts any actions into it. They could have the most amazing idea, but you’ll never know it because they don’t get the idea into actions. As my grandmother would say, “either shit or get off the pot”.

thomas-edison-quotes-on-failure-11A coworker told me a story about Thomas Edison and how when he was little his teacher sent him home with a note and told him not to open it to give it directly to his mother. Once his mother got the note she began to read it and cry. Edison asked his mother what the note said, and she told him that it said he was a genius and that they weren’t equipped to teach him. Years later after Edison had gone on to invent life-changing things, his mother passed. While going through her stuff, he found the note from his teacher and read it. The note actually read that he was retarded and that the school wasn’t equipped to teach him. This story, holds the saying true you are what you believe you are, or what you’re told you are. Thinking and perception is a huge influencer. If you think it long enough you will begin to believe it.

vYO8SocMoreover, one of my favorite inspirational speeches is by Jim Carrey. He spoke at a college graduation talking about following your dreams. –Jim Carrey & Morgan Freeman have unbelievable stories about success by the way, if you’re feeling like you’re never going to make it google them and read their bio extremely inspiring- In his speech, he talked about how his father wanted to be a comedian, but was to afraid he was going to fail and went with what he thought was a sure thing and became an accountant. His father later got fired as an accountant the family landed on hard times. Carrey said that this taught him you might as well do what you love because even you can fail at the sure thing. Until I heard that speech, I never looked at it like that, quite frankly I don’t think anybody does.
97ae11eae5153a76a2f4e2172997bd97The book I’m reading right now -and highly recommend- is Joel Osteen “You Can You Will”. In the book, he talks about how many people give up on their dreams because they lose sight of what it is they are reaching for. Osteen states that you must keep something in your eyesight that will remind you to focus and remind you of what you’re working toward. So, if you want a new house, keep a key on your ring chain or a picture of your dream house on your desk. Set something out to keep your eye on the prize.
More important than anything, you have to believe in yourself! I usually don’t believe people when they say they have no idea what they want to do in life. I believe that they are scared to do it! Now if your not totally sure right some stuff down that you enjoy and cross it off until you figure it out. Thinking about it can only take you so far, you have to put in some action and set it into motion!!

p.s. i have a super special announcement coming soon! I’m so excited to tell you guys, but you have to stay tuned, so don’t forget to subscribe-like-share and comment!