Time for a Change

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So lately in my community of people we’ve all had this theme in our lives where we feel lost, but we know where we are going. We arent exactly sure how to get there or if we should keep straight or turn left or right, but we know whatever we choose we’ll be ok. We’ll get to where we need to be.

I’ve been staying that course almost all year.  I’ve been purging. I feel almost like I’m shedding skin. I don’t know if it’s because ya girl is knocking on 30s door or what, but I’ve been in the spirit of “this shit has gotta go” and so it’s been going. However, lately I had been feeling cramped and cluttered even though I had purged everything I thought I possibly could. I just wasn’t happy. Now, as a Libra it’s in our nature to be indecisive, but I literally couldn’t make a damn decision. I was supposed to be finalizing birthday plans that I just couldn’t decide on. I’ve been going back and forth on things that should’ve be a piece of cake to decide on.  I didn’t realize anything was wrong until I was on my way to do something I had absolutely no business doing. As I was driving I just thought “why do I keep allowing this? Why am I acting like a passenger when I’m clearly in the driver’s seat???” -Now I will say what I was on my way to do influence this sudden revelation.- It was my “ah ha” moment. It was the push of anger I needed.

meditate-01-giphy_0I swiftly turned around and went home. While sitting in my driveway –where I do some of my best thinking– I decided to delete social media. Usually when I take a break, I just put the apps in a folder and put them on a page by themselves, but during my break I may cheat and look. This time I straight deleted the apps. No cheating. I honestly was tired of reading y’all opinions and thoughts. It’s some of the best peace I’ve had in a while. I honestly thought I would miss it, but nope. Not at all.

Around the 5/6 day of my break I decided to clean my dream/goal journal out and rewrite my notes so they were more organized and I discovered I’ve been writing the same goals/dreams for years. Every year, same.fucking. goal. I went ahead with what I was doing, but this bothered me. That night while surfing YouTube I ran across what I like to call “adulting” videos; Financial and minimalist videos. Your typical ‘things I don’t buy’ or ‘10 ways you’re wasting your money’. All of these videos resonated with me because again I’ve been purging and feeling cluttered. The more I looked around the more I just saw…. stuff. Just a lot of stuff that I really don’t need/don’t use. I hold on to stuff people get me just cause I don’t want to feel bad for letting it go –when in fact they probably don’t remember gifting me it anyway– so the more I watched the more I became invested.

The next day I woke up in what my mom called a “Katie rage”. My grandmother, Katie, will get in these moods where everything has to change and change right then because she’s tired of saying it and she fusses and complains until it’s done. Whether it’s cleaning the house or redecorating it’s getting done TADAY! -yes that’s right, ta-day– Now I must add that I was sick with an upper respiratory infection so I had been off work during this social media break and I had a lot of time to sit with my thoughts. So that day I woke up with a clarity I haven’t had…. possibly ever? My mom and I purged, cleaned, and redecorated which I’m soooooooo happy with. I work from home so I have wanted my space to be nice, ascetically pleasing. I’ve been focusing on just my bedroom for a while, but it was a lot of stuff in my house that had been in my house since I moved out of my mother’s house which was… 7/8 years ago? I was just tired of looking at it. I literally threw what seemed like half the apartment away. Sa la vie! -la vie!-

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I will say my thoughts have been clear and focused, but I can’t seem to shut them off. I feel like I’m on a drug at times, but the results have been good so I’m kind of ok with it –lol-I won’t say I’m a minimalist. I dig the concept. I take some of their lifestyle and apply it to my own because we as Americans do over consume. Families in need probably wouldn’t be if some of us just learned that less is more. We don’t need a lot to survive. While I LOVE my closet –and awesome fashion sense wink wink lol- I don’t need all the clothes in my closet and could probably dress a whole 2/3 people and still be able to dress myself with my entire wardrobe. We really do live in excess. However I can’t let my closet go- even if I can’t wear half of it lol-, but I can control what I buy. Going for the structured quality items vs the fast fashion or getting Pyrex containers that are multipurpose vs. buying Tupperware. -environmentally better too

Maybe it was time for a lifestyle change, No no it was definitely time for a more adult lifestyle change. As I go into my 30s its time to let a lot of my old habits go. Those same habits can no longer serve me where I’m trying to go.

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What are some things you could let go?

Lets talk about it!

XOXO

And remember

Don’t be bitter

Be better!

 

 

Distractions

blogger-image-2067635397So many times we have a goal in mind. We can envision it. We can put ourselves at the finish line. It’s so close that all of our senses tingle as if it’s already happened. Most of us can reach out and touch it. The latter, like me, get distracted. Distraction or rather procrastination plays a huge roll in why we can’t accomplish even the smallest task. I’m so guilty of this! I battle myself on timing all the time! I question if I should do something now or wait? Should I do this first and finish that then do it. I question it so much, it never gets done. Now I don’t know if this is fear that it won’t work anyway so why bother or if it’s much deeper than that- still working on it- or if it simply just time.

My mother always tells me, don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. But she has always been so eye on the prize let’s get this done. I’ve always been lazy. If it could get done tomorrow, if it didn’t need to get done immediately, then I would push it off till the last possible minute! But I do have to admit I work well under pressure. I would wait until the night before and sometimes the day of, to do a paper and I would get an A on it. I get my best ideas from procrastinating.

hey-i-found-your-noseI totally went on a tangent, but I said all that to get to the biggest distraction of them all, social media. Oh yes. Instagram, snapchat, Facebook… We are so enthused about what other people are doing we forget to put the phone down and enjoy our own lives. I fall victim to this constantly- mainly because social media will let you know news before the news will, I mean I found out THE Michael Jackson died before it came across any news station, all from a tweet! Now I do enjoy looking other people’s messes to take my mind off my own- I mean who don’t, don’t act like y’all guilty pleasure wasn’t love and hip hop at some point!- but at some point I have to put my phone down and actually deal with what’s going on- easier said than done-

giphyI love social media for the positives that came from it. Like discovering actually talent, promotion, awareness, connection with people you would have never met otherwise. But I also despise it for what it’s done to society, a disconnect at real conversation, a need to update people about your life minute by minute just to stay “relevant”, unsolicited opinions- the worst!Maybe we will move into a new age where people will start to feel nostalgic and integrate those things back in. With technology moving so fast one can wonder. I can only vow to myself to take a step back. And hopefully this blog may encourage a few too. Now I’m not going cold turkey. But it is ok if you miss a few things it’s not ok to miss out on your life, trying to see what everyone else is doing with theirs.

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P.s- check out my latest video here-The Blacker The Berry...

P.s.s- the video for this blog will be out on Friday, but its going to tie in with a high requested deeper look at my previous video make sure you check that out!Its Not You Its Me: Tips and Tricks for 2016

P.s.s.s -video for this blog is liveeeee Distractions