Dating Outside Your Race

colorless loveRecently I ran into a brother of a girl I had to fill in on a play for, real sweet real intellectual guy. However, at the table my friends and I were discussing dating older people vs. dating younger people. Me, myself personally I have only dated older men. I have found more stability, more understanding, and more of the qualities I’m attracted to in older men than in younger or my age. My friend, however, has found that she seeks comfort in younger men. Our young waiter asked what our convo was and I told him.

He then went on to ask how old was the oldest gut I’ve dated. The oldest man I have dated was at the time 35. He inquired why I ended and I told him because he saw now problem with using the N* word. Our waiter then, began to suggest that I needed financial stability or that I had daddy issues when I told him I didn’t see color when I dated someone.

To understand why I don’t see the color issue you would have to understand that I grew up in a predomently white school and I also was raised with the morals that reached beyond color. As for daddy issues I would say I have a few, BUT they are being worked on as a result of patching things up with my father. -Any who back to the subject-, what upset me the most is that someone truly thought I was not appreciating the black male and that I was “upgrading” because the black male couldn’t provide what I needed. WRONG!tumblr_miwal6Pjoy1qfpilno1_500

He suggested that I didn’t date black men because I: A. had daddy issues, B. I need money C. that some black male from my past had hurt me. Now this to me sounded like ignorance and every black male couldn’t feel like this…. could they? However, it did bring a question to mind… Are men truly intimidated by the color of other men you have dated?

The young man went on to tell a story about how his sister dated or married (can’t remember) a white man and said that it was the best thing for her to do at that time in her life. Which brought me to my next question. Why do we as a race feel like it’s an upgrade to be with a white man? I know and have seen plenty of men be a downgrade of both colors, it all depends on the MAN! It’s sad to know that in 2015 we all still see the status of someone by the color of his or her skin.


Love is love. I know damn well you don’t love a black male/female any different if its light skin vs. dark skinned, you love them both the same. Why is it any different if they are of a different race? Maybe I’m just a different breed of human. To love someone simply because of what color his or her skin is utterly ridiculous to me and your not truly in love if that’s the main reason you’re with the person. Now being attracted to someone and being in love with someone is completely different. I have been attracted to males who were straight assholes and there was no way I could love them, and I have been in love with males who were lacking on the looks, but their personally was bomb.

At the end of the day, if you are going to love them, love them for who they are, not for what they can offer you or what they look like. You are doing yourself a major disservice and missing out on the best thing life has to offer…. love.  b43d16fa913797ee9d6775f5f87d64c7

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